Big Brother 14...The Price Of Arrogance

     It seemed like Dan's game to lose. He had successfully perpetrated the longest con in the history of Big Brother and executed what many agree are the boldest moves the game has ever seen. So, what happened? The "master" made a mistake. He underestimated the impact that his lies, manipulations, and betrayals would have on the people in charge of his fate.

     Britney reminds us during the staged jury deliberations that Big Brother is a game without rules, but it is the heinous liar in the role of pot that cries foul, declaring the kettle to be in violation of the rules of life. Apparently, some acts of immorality are not to be tolerated when anyone other than Frank commits them.
     I have always opposed the decisions of emotional juries. I think that votes should be cast based on game play, not to avenge real or perceived wrongs. But, when a player behaves the way that Dan did last night, then jury nullification is the inevitable result.

     A successful player on any reality game show usually has a good social game. Dan either forgot this or deemed it unimportant when it counted the most. He was glib as he proudly acknowledged that he played a ruthless game and checked his morals at the door. He attempted to discredit Ian every time Ian spoke by talking over him or shaking his head in disagreement. He told a lie involving a jury member, which Ian immediately disputed. He shamelessly pandered to the jury while they were voting, showering them with compliments that rang with the same truth as everything else he spoke this season. He was overconfident, insincere, and he reeked of entitlement. And that's when I knew that he was going to lose.

     Ian was a justifiable alternative for the jury. He was everything that Dan was not. He spoke to them with respect, and from the heart. He could cite his competitive wins and moves that furthered his game, relying on "probability, statistics, and heart" rather than the practices often associated with a "dirty" game. His most compelling argument? Dan's advantage at the beginning of the game, being awarded "three lives" to Ian's "one". It was more than enough for a jury looking for valid reasons to not award Dan the prize money. And give those of us that opposed the vets being allowed to play this season a reason to celebrate.
     Anybody that wants me today knows where to find me.
     What's Fair Game now that Big Brother is ended? Survivor: Philippines, of course. I have a few choice words regarding those "returning players"...

Big Brother 14...The Power of Dan

     After spending twenty-four hours locked down in a Tim Burtonesque outpost of CrazyTown Nightclub, most people might be candidates for psychiatric intervention, mandatory time in a room with soft walls and the required cozy jacket that buttons up the back perhaps. But Dan Gheesling is NOT most people.
     Dan is the vet that entered the Big Brother house disguised as a coach, who later became the fall guy for Ian's sins against ChillTown 2.0, and is now, thanks to a brilliantly conceived and executed plan, master of his own fate.
     The collateral damage of Dan's salvation?
     Ian, whose every duplicitous move was outed to Frank by Dan, has been doing a lot of swearing and accusation hurling, when he's not pacing and swilling beer.
     And Britney, who "adjusted her game" (smooched both of Frank's butt cheeks) in preparation for Frank's HOH win, has taken Dan's vacated spot on the block and must rely on Shane's loyalty (like he could rely on hers?), Joe's word (which he gives to everybody, so is therefore only worth anything a small percentage of the time), and Ian's ability to stay strong in the face of peer pressure (and the urge to submit to Dan's will) to save her. Pack your chips Britney, and get ready to move your whining to the jury house.
     The "victim" of Dan's performance, turned double agent?
     If Danielle isn't a strong candidate for the aforementioned psychiatric intervention, then I must have misunderstood everything that professor said over the course of an entire semester of Abnormal Psychology during undergrad. And the double agent thing isn't fooling anybody in the house, so, somebody, please make her stop.
     My opinion of a vet managing to talk himself down from the Big Brother equivalent of a ledge near the tippy top of a building several stories high that Frank was ready and a little too eager to shove Dan off of? I have made no secret of my opposition to the vets being allowed to play. It ruined the season for me, as it did for a lot of fans. That said...If Dan makes it to the end, he deserves to win. *screams into pillow*
     I am going to remember where I hid the Baileys from my teenage daughter and then begin the process of forgetting all of this. Feel free to talk among yourselves.

Note: My apologies to you for the absence of accompanying screenshots. Blogger's "insert image" feature has been malfunctioning (without any acknowledgement of my repeated pleas for assistance) for over twenty-four hours, and I used up the last of my patience on the mouthy teenager I gave birth to. This post with screenshots can be found at fairgamebylou.tumblr.com.

Big Brother 14...ChillTown 2.0 Can't Come To The Phone Right Now

     I am STILL laughing.

     Love her or hate her, Britney gave most of us (ChillTown 2.0 and their two or three fans can just continue to suck it) the biggest laugh we've had all summer with the best good-bye message to an evicted house guest that we've had in a long time, perhaps ever. It was the perfect send-off (flip-off?) to the instigating force behind the poorly resurrected ChillTown, and, with any luck, that will be the last time an imaginary phone rings in the DR.

     For those of us keeping track...Two down. Two to go.

     The second best moment of Thursday night's show was delivered to us by the puppet that became the mole that revealed himself to be a real player in his good-bye message to his mentor, Boogie. It even earned him a rare show of respect from the player who prides himself on being the smartest person in the Big Brother house. *snickers* The bitter irony? Boogie and Frank embarked on a childish (and futile) mission to make the wrong player (Dan) miserable this week for blabbing their plans to target Shane and Britney. I wonder if Boogie is feeling foolish yet. He should be.

                                         Every time I see this, I think that we've all been played.

     

     As for Ian's short reign as HOH during the second eviction...I have to give him credit for trying to finish what he started. He nominated the remaining member of the ChillTown 2.0 alliance and his plus one. After Frank won the POV, I would have liked to see Dan go up on the block to bring us a step closer to that vet-free game I've been wanting. But I can see why Ian might not have wanted to turn on his new alliance so soon after "scumbagging" the last one, and (in theory) evicting Frank's plus one should make Frank easier to evict in the near future.

    The teller of the most vicious lie in the history of Big Brother is currently ensconced in the HOH room AGAIN, even though he should have been evicted three weeks ago. One of my hard and fast rules is to not hate people. Allison Grodner and her stupid "reset" have already sorely tested my resolve in this regard, but the longer I have to tolerate her pet, Frank the perpetual adolescent, the more likely it becomes that I will lose that particular battle.

     As far as twists go, Pandora's Box is not the worst, but it does seem to conveniently appear whenever one of the popular player's fan base needs appeasing, like last season when Rachel was practically out the door until Pandora's Box opened and magically restored the twist that saved her. I would prefer to see a game played out that relied on strategy and competition, rather than gifts ("twists") bestowed upon certain players by Allison Grodner and her team of lackeys. But that's not the game I get to see anymore. *sighs and reminisces about the early seasons of Big Brother, before somebody decided to fix something that wasn't broken*

     So Pandora's Box was opened yesterday and the Quack Pack *smirks* caught a break. Ian won a special POV (a golden ball) from the crane game in the Arcade Room, and the prevailing theory was that he would use it to save Dan, whom Frank has targeted for eviction. I rolled my eyes upon hearing this, knowing that all Frank had to do to render Ian's special power useless would be to stick Ian on the block and make him save himself.

     Apparently, Frank was Boogie's bitch a week too long because his training has impaired his ability to think. Frank nominated Dan and Danielle last night. This makes me smile because I never wanted the vets in the house to start with, but Frank could not afford to be this stupid. He might as well have put up the last two floaters in the house. *frowns and shakes head in confusion*

     So now we wait. We wait for the outcome of the POV Competition, which Dan needs to win to guarantee his safety, and then for Monday's POV Ceremony, which will probably reveal where loyalties really lie in the house. Alliances seem to be shuffling right now, but it may turn out to be merely for the sake of appearances, to outplay the remaining dregs of ChillTown 2.0 one final time.

     Please leave a message for ChillTown 2.0...

Big Brother 14...The Consequences of Adolescent Mentality

     A brief summary of last night's episode.

     The real player did not take a real stand or real responsibility for his nominations when confronted by Boogie and Frank, opting instead to shove Britney under the bus and let it mash her at maximum speed, then back over her.

     This season's biggest whiner berated Shane in much the same manner (like the bitchiest teenage girl you've ever encountered) that she did Willie for making her a "huge target" in the house. Shane made a good argument for being weary of having to do all his alliance's dirty work which she ignored. In an obvious attempt to cover her own ass, Britney denied any responsibility for their nominations to Boogie and Frank. Big Brother's resident "mastermind" then inadvertently and obliviously cast suspicion on Dan.

     When confronted by Boogie and Frank, Dan covered for Ian, who is the actual blabber of ChillTown 2.0's secrets, and took the heat with class when Boogie and Frank proceeded to behave like a couple of adolescents, resorting to emotional intimidation in an attempt to get what they want.

     Cheating scandal? What cheating scandal? The POV Competition was edited into what passed for an ordinary, incident-free competition that cast no suspicion on the legitimacy of Frank's victory. What Allison Grodner couldn't edit? Ashley's shameless throwing of the competition to Frank, "folding" in the final round against him.

     Who? Shane's renom got dragged into a game that she had managed to avoid. Until now.

     Only a last-minute "twist" courtesy of Allison Grodner can save him now.
     So give us your take on last night's episode. Based on what you saw, is Big Brother starting to resemble the hormonally challenged train wreck that you would get if you took a random sample from the teenage population of your local high school? Or is it just me, a little overcome by the close proximity of my own hormonally challenged people, imagining grown-ups behaving like adolescents? You've seen it. It's fair game. Let's talk about it.

Big Brother 14...Suck It ChillTown 2.0

     All Hail Shane Meaney! He's the puppet that became a real player that is poised to become the architect of the demise of that shoddy imitation of the original ChillTown. The nomination of Boogie and Frank yesterday was the best moment in the Big Brother house since Willie Hantz rallied his fellow newbies to the brink of rebellion. I would gladly send Shane a crate of Monsters in tribute to the biggest move of the game this season if CBS would only let me.

     The fallout from these nominations is as entertaining as the nominations were masterful. Britney is giving Danielle some serious competition in her bid for Mayor of CrazyTown as she attempts to remove the "huge target" that she is convinced Shane staple-gunned to her back when he cited her as the most influential in his decision to park Boogie and Frank on the block. She's such a "mastermind" that she hasn't realized that Dan is the one that Boogie and Frank perceive as the real threat.
     Speaking of Danielle...She continues to spin her own myth in whatever spare time she has left over from stalking Shane. Which brings me to this amazing shot of Danielle shortly after being denied entry to a meeting being held by her own alliance.

     To the mysterious benefactor that sent me this, Thank You. You made my day.

     As I wait impatiently for those slackers to finish the POV Competition (I think we're going on five hours now), I imagine Shane winning it and keeping his nominations the same. I don't care which of them gets booted out on Thursday night. Boogie is a vet that shouldn't even be there, and Frank is a loathsome excuse for a human being who would have been evicted two weeks ago if not for the interference of Allison Grodner and shouldn't even be there either.
     Speaking of everyone's least favorite pain in the ass...Rumor has it that Pandora's Box is going to be utilized in a way that is guaranteed to piss me off. Apparently, Shane revealed that production tried to talk him out of nominating Boogie and Frank, so the speculation is that the meddlesome bitch is going to use Pandora's Box to save one or both of them. How can CBS continue to maintain that production does not manipulate the game in any way? Because, for them, lying is a reflex, like breathing, and it's a condition of employment.
     So tell us what you think of ChillTown 2.0's impending doom. Canonize Shane as a hero, or demonize him as a villain. Your choice. Just be sure to cite your reasons for doing so in a way that even a CBS honcho can understand (no words of more than one syllable). You've seen it. It's fair game. Let's talk about it.

Note: I know that, as soon as I post this, the feeds will return, probably with a result that will incite me to rant in a follow-up post, which I will most certainly do. With all the profane words at my disposal. Count on it.

Big Brother 14...We Have A Rematch

     In one corner, we have Karma, forced to make a return trip to the Big Brother house to finish the work that it began last week. Its primary objective? To rid the house guests (and the rest of us) of the vile cretin that is Frank, AKA Teller of Heinous Lies.

     In the other corner, we have Ironic Justice, also making a repeat appearance, but rather than targeting a lowly minion, its aiming instead for the lowly minion's leader, mean girl and so phony it makes my teeth hurt, Janelle.

     After careful consideration, I've decided that I don't care who emerges victorious. I am an equal opportunity cheerleader this week.
     I have been rooting for Karma to take out Frank since week one when Frank lied about Willie exhibiting homophobic behavior in an attempt to garner votes. The victory would have gone to Karma in last week's match if not for the machinations of Allison Grodner. A win tomorrow night would restore an element of fair play removed from the game last week, and ensure that the aforementioned vile cretin does not benefit from a lie that no one should tell under any circumstances. Go Karma!
     I have been rooting for Ironic Justice since week two when Shane partnered up with Boogie and Frank to target Janelle's team. It just seemed so appropriate that the people planning to go after her were people that she had betrayed (Shane because, as a member of Britney's team, he was no longer useful to Janelle once Boogie's team was in power) or was getting ready to betray (Frank and Boogie because their reign was almost at an end). Janelle is a shameless floater, attaching herself to whoever is currently occupying the HOH room. The over-the-top display of enthusiasm when Danielle won the endurance competition was just this side of ridiculous. Go Ironic Justice!
     Also, and I have been quite vocal about this, the vets should never have been allowed to play. A win for Ironic Justice tomorrow night would mean one less vet in the game. I realize that it was the vets who put Janelle within reach of Ironic Justice and, for this, I am grateful. And perfectly willing to sit back and watch the vets take each other out.
     To say that I'm disappointed in the newbies would be so much more polite than they deserve. The only two that seem to be playing the game (besides the vets) are Shane and Frank (who is so reprehensible that he doesn't count) so, unless the puppets decide to become players and ally themselves with Shane and Frank, these two newbies will be nothing more than pawns to get the vets to the end, where a vet will win. Just like last season.

     There have been reports on Twitter by feeders who have seen puppets Wil, Jenn, and Ashley showing signs of becoming real players, but I refuse to let myself hope. These are the same people who decided to ignore Willie's warning about the "coaches" running the game. It will take more than talk to make a believer out of me.

     I won't be watching tonight's episode. I have zero interest in the edited version of the manipulation of Danielle, the needy, neurotic, and certifiably delusional puppet who will most likely take the credit for Janelle's eviction (if it happens) when it was Boogie and Dan (with a little help from Britney) who have been pulling the strings in the house this week. I might tune in for the last few minutes though. I've seen the screenshots of Janelle looking like she'd been dragged backward through a bush after the POV ceremony, but seeing her in the moment that she realizes that Ironic Justice has snuck up on her arrogant self promises to be entertaining.
     So tell us what you think. Karma or Ironic Justice? Vets or Newbies? Intense psychotherapy or a psychopharmacological cocktail of antipsychotic drugs and antidepressants for Danielle? Or both? You've seen it. It's fair game. Let's talk about it.

Big Brother 14...Karma vs. Ironic Justice

     First, a few words to CBS regarding last night's episode. Stop editing Danielle's shameless and pathetic stalking of Shane into a showmance. You cannot turn a desperate woman clinging to an indifferent man into Jeff and Jordan. After enduring two seasons of Brenchel, most of us are still too nauseated to ever want to see anything that even slightly resembles two people attempting to couple. Thank you.

     Speaking of last night's episode, watching Janelle take credit for Frank being Shane's renom made me giggle. She was so full of her own cleverness, claiming to be the puppet master pulling the strings this week. No Janelle. No. It was Ian, incapable of talking game without Boogie there to do his talking for him, that triggered Britney's hair trigger paranoia and put Frank's life in the Big Brother house in peril. Incompetence gets the credit, not Janelle's lame offer of her jewelry as hostage in exchange for her loyalty to Shane and Britney.

     Which brings me to what promises to be the happiest moment of the season for me...the eviction of that loathsome excuse for a human being, Frank. Not that seeing Janelle at the mercy of Ironic Justice doesn't have its appeal, but Karma backdooring Frank is just so much better. I want to see him shocked and upset and parked next to Julie, who will, hopefully, do her job and pressure him to name the dysfunction that compelled him to lie about Willie being homophobic. Make him accountable Julie. We're counting on you.

     Of course, the inexplicable could happen and somebody (hopelessly in love with the idea of being in love Danielle, the probable swing vote) could decide to vote to evict Joe instead. While this is clearly not my favorite scenario, I could get all right with it fairly quickly. Joe's eviction would mean I would not have to tolerate that boorish shit stirrer shouting at me from my television any more. Not a bad thing. I also wouldn't mind Julie asking him if his troublemaking ways are genetic or a learned behavior. Anything that brings us a step closer to settling the nature vs. nurture debate is always welcome.
     Either way, tonight's eviction will eliminate someone that doesn't deserve to win; Frank, because he shouldn't benefit from that particular lie, and Joe, because being an asshole doesn't make him a worthy competitor, it just makes him an asshole. Too bad they both couldn't be kicked out the door with one vote. I wonder what kind of special power CBS could pretend that America granted could make that happen. I bet  I could think of one in the time that it takes me to fetch the mail. It can't be that hard. Allison Grodner does it all the time.
     So tell us what you think. Who do you want gone? And how much fun would you have watching Julie torture him until he breaks and begs forgiveness for his despicable behavior. You've seen it. It's fair game. Let's talk about it.

Big Brother 14...A Puppet Becomes A Real Player

     Before I begin, I have two things to say to CBS.

     First, repeatedly showing your heavily edited footage of Willie Hantz's expulsion does not make those of us that possess more than the iota of common sense that you credit us with any more inclined to believe your version of the events that took place. It's true that the man is not a saint. He made mistakes out of frustration and perhaps a misguided belief that he could save the other members of his team even though they had outcasted him for something he did not do. He was provoked and he reacted in ways that we have seen house guests of seasons past behave without consequences. He is not, however, the monster that you keep trying to edit him into, so just stop it. It only makes you look bad.

     Second, and again I refer to the common sense that you seem to think we all lack, DO NOT force the "coaches" on us as valid players and pretend that we voted for them to enter the game. The coaches twist is the twist that never was. It is the excuse you used to make bringing in returning house guests more palatable for the fans who have repeatedly voiced our opinions (to no avail) regarding ringers forcing a game on us that we don't want to see. Let the newbies play the game they signed up for, and give the fans the game we want to see. History tells us that you won't. History tells us that you will probably do what most of us have suspected you would all along and allow the "coaches" into the game. We can't stop you. But pretending that it is something that we voted for will cost you what little credibility you have left, so do so at your own peril.

     And now for the first happy news that we've had from the Big Brother house since Willie's attempt to take the game back from the "coaches". The puppet masters have lost control of one of their puppets. Shane has managed to cut his strings and is running amok, to the chagrin of those that thought they were in charge of things this week. *starts hunting through emails for Barnes and Noble coupons*
     After doing his "coach's" bidding for the last two weeks, I didn't want to let myself hope that Shane would make good on the deal he struck with Boogie and Frank to target Janelle and her team. But that is exactly what he appears to be doing, and on his own terms.

     Apparently, his "coach" wanted Frank on the block as payback for Shane's nomination for eviction last week. Suck it Britney. Your one remaining puppet is emerging as a real player in the game that you've been playing for yourself. *begins printing coupons in happy anticipation of celebratory book buying and yummy coffee slurping* He has forged an alliance that you know nothing about and could possibly go to the end if he continues to ignore you when you speak.

     It seems that Boogie also expected Frank, his strongest player, to go up on the block to keep suspicion from falling upon their secret alliance with Shane. But Shane is not taking orders from him either. The HOH is running the house this week, not the "coaches", and order has been briefly restored to the universe.
     Hopefully, the other puppets are taking note, and one day soon we will have a house full of real players ready to take on the "coaches" that CBS will no doubt "officially" allow into the game on Thursday night. Unfortunately, the puppets seem content to be puppets and will likely remain so, the possible exceptions being Frank, who is vile and therefore dead to me, and Danielle, who only seems to be willing to trade one puppet master ("Coach" Dan) for another (Shane).
     So tell us what you think. Are you fed up with CBS's insults to our intelligence? Does Shane's transformation from puppet to real player give you hope that the others will follow his example? Or will Shane be taking on the "coaches" alone? You've seen it. It's fair game. Let's talk about it.    

Big Brother 14...No Honor Among Puppet Masters

     Last night's episode began with a rerun of CBS's self-serving edit of Willie's expulsion. This was immediately followed by a disgusting display of self-pity by that sorry excuse for a "coach" Britney, who promptly burst into tears and required comforting. As if that wasn't nauseating enough, we were then treated to a shot of Britney's fickle bestie Janelle celebrating with her alliance of the week, Boogie and his protege Frank.

     This evidence of Janelle breaking her sworn promise to Britney that she loathed Boogie and would never work with him under any circumstances was not what made this little scene difficult to watch. After all, Janelle made that promise way back in Week 1 when she was helping "Coach" Britney run the house. This is Week 2 and Britney is just another "coach" that doesn't have any power and is persona non grata (that means betrayed, scapegoated, and targeted and seems awfully familiar) in the house, and Janelle's special skills are now needed to help a different "coach" run the house. The logic is sound and this kind of cut-throat play is part of life in the Big Brother house. What made me gag was the genuine glee with which she pranced and bopped with someone she can't stand (Boogie) and someone she had said she wanted evicted (Frank), not just once but several times during the incessant indecision that was the hallmark of Week 1. Watching that woman in action is nothing short of disturbing.
     And then a conversation between Boogie, Frank, and Shane led to a deal that made me smile. The three of them are going to work together to take Janelle and her team down. It seems that Ironic Justice is going to be awfully busy in the near future. It is coming for Janelle disguised as Boogie and is already hard at work making Britney miserable, which she is mistakenly and predictably blaming on Willie. We just have to wait for Karma to arrive on a Search and Destroy mission with Frank as It's target and then it will be a party.
     Which leaves "Coach" Dan, who will be eliminated from the game tonight if his last remaining team member, Danielle, is evicted. He is a coach in real life, which made his speech to Danielle, declaring her to be on her own without any help from him, seem really mean and him incompetent. And then he explained to us during DR that this was a "tactic" designed to "make her fight harder". What it did was make her cry. A lot. The "tactic" gets a big fat F. The "coach" can have a D and some advice. Take the time to get to know your players well enough to know which coaching "tactics" from the Big Brother Coaching For Dummies Handbook will work on them. Not all puppets, er players, are the same.
     So, tell us what you think of last night's episode. Does the "coaches" turning on each other make you smile? And wouldn't their preoccupation with each other provide the best opportunity for the puppets to become real players and take over the house? You've seen it. It's fair game. Let's talk about it.

Big Brother 14...Some More Words About The Willie Hantz Expulsion

     Before I get to the travesty that was CBS's version of events that led up to the expulsion of Willie Hantz, let me just issue the following warning. I am in full blown menopausal misery (for the record, I am way too young for this shit) during the hottest summer suffered here since 1988, and I am in no mood to set an example for anybody. My favorite child will just have to do as I say and not as I do regarding this one thing.
     That said, let's kick some ass.

     Instigating Bitch. The CBS edit neglected to show us, or didn't want us to see, one of Big Brother's favorite darlings encouraging Joe to push Willie's buttons in an effort to detonate the walking talking time bomb that was Willie during his final days in the house. Janelle has been the disloyal pot calling the disloyal kettle names this season, but she has not done anything to make herself unlikable. Until now.

     Narcissistic Bitch. "Coach" Britney set it all in motion, then disavowed her own player in what was the most cold-hearted, self-serving move in Big Brother history. The exchange between Britney and Willie in the lounge was a glaring example of what being a member of Team Britney really means...getting mercilessly bitched out and blamed for what its supposed leader caused through self-serving actions.

     Obnoxious Troublemaking Asshole. Always eager to be part of the problem, Joe volunteers to trigger Willie's temper and, if I have been correctly informed, CBS heavily edited Joe's actions in this endeavor, probably so the fans wouldn't hate him more than we already do. After that awful performance he gave pretending that Willie hurt him, CBS needn't have bothered. It's way past too late for Joe.

     Lying Prick. One day, hopefully soon, Karma will unload a bazooka aimed at Frank's ass. And the malicious lie that he told about Willie will be the reason why.

     Culpable As Hell. CBS employs Allison Grodner and her herd of incompetents so, ultimately, they are responsible for the loathsome way that Willie's repeated attempts to seek help in the DR were ignored by production, and conveniently edited out of last night's episode. Editing Willie's exit in a way that makes them appear competent, doesn't make them so. The truth will always be the truth, no matter how it's spun.
     Now it's your turn to kick a little ass. You've seen it. It's fair game. Let's talk about it.