Walmart. If you've never set foot in one, you can't know what you're missing. It can be a cringe-worthy place where grossly overweight women, all their bulging parts spilling from too small bathing suits, can waddle unchecked, bringing traffic to a screaming halt in the narrow aisles with their abandoned carts filled with Ruffles, Oreos, and Diet Coke. It can also be a seedy place where a teenage girl (at least I think it was a girl) can fellate her slightly older boyfriend (I hope it was her boyfriend or, at the very least, someone she knew) without concerning herself about such trivial matters as the appropriate limits of public displays of affection or the discomfort of kneeling amongst a variety of sporting goods equipment. There was some irony in play there...I'm sure of it.
What could have been a routine trip to the local super center to "save money to live better" becomes an unexpected trip of an entirely different kind. What do you do? You do what any self-respecting person, whose retinas will be forever burned with images of public indecency that would draw attention of the law enforcement variety anywhere but the confines of Walmart, would do. You talk about it.
So, that's what we're going to do. Every week, we're going to meet here, so to speak, and have an open discussion about whatever has recently drawn our attention, whether by its flagrant obscenity (see above), its desperate pleas for attention (celebrities and reality television), or its success or failure to entertain (books, movies, and television shows). If it has been put out there for public consumption, it will be considered fair game.
In the interest of avoiding complete anarchy, there needs to be some ground rules (subject to change at the whim of the moderator, of course).
First, there will be no intolerance. Ever. Comments flagellating someone for their behavior will be accepted with whatever degree of hilarity they merit. Under no circumstances, will comments that attack someone for their race, religion, sexual preferences, etc. be accepted. Ever. So, please don't waste your time or mine. Thank you in advance for not subjecting the rest of us to your bigoted self.
Next, be relevant. Confine your comments to the topic currently being discussed. Suggestions for future topics are always welcome and appreciated; ramblings about the current state of affairs on The Big Bang Theory while the rest of us are dissecting the latest Tribal Council on Survivor, not okay. Either tell us what you think of Jeff's increasing snarkiness this season, or move on.
Finally, please, for the sake of my proper grammar, correct spelling and punctuation loving soul, DO NOT submit comments that read like poorly done third grade homework. I see enough of that already.
Incidentally, profanity, if spelled correctly and used in the proper context, is acceptable when warranted. I believe that the excessive use of profanity demonstrates a limited vocabulary; occasionally, however, the right profane word can be helpful for emphasis, or for laughs.
Now it's your turn. Tell us about your Walmart experiences. Make us laugh with your descriptions of the Walmart People you have encountered while grocery shopping. Outrage us with your accounts of perversion you witnessed while perusing the selection of yoga mats.
You've seen it. It's fair game. Let's talk about it.
