Big Brother 14...The Consequences of Adolescent Mentality

     A brief summary of last night's episode.

     The real player did not take a real stand or real responsibility for his nominations when confronted by Boogie and Frank, opting instead to shove Britney under the bus and let it mash her at maximum speed, then back over her.

     This season's biggest whiner berated Shane in much the same manner (like the bitchiest teenage girl you've ever encountered) that she did Willie for making her a "huge target" in the house. Shane made a good argument for being weary of having to do all his alliance's dirty work which she ignored. In an obvious attempt to cover her own ass, Britney denied any responsibility for their nominations to Boogie and Frank. Big Brother's resident "mastermind" then inadvertently and obliviously cast suspicion on Dan.

     When confronted by Boogie and Frank, Dan covered for Ian, who is the actual blabber of ChillTown 2.0's secrets, and took the heat with class when Boogie and Frank proceeded to behave like a couple of adolescents, resorting to emotional intimidation in an attempt to get what they want.

     Cheating scandal? What cheating scandal? The POV Competition was edited into what passed for an ordinary, incident-free competition that cast no suspicion on the legitimacy of Frank's victory. What Allison Grodner couldn't edit? Ashley's shameless throwing of the competition to Frank, "folding" in the final round against him.

     Who? Shane's renom got dragged into a game that she had managed to avoid. Until now.

     Only a last-minute "twist" courtesy of Allison Grodner can save him now.
     So give us your take on last night's episode. Based on what you saw, is Big Brother starting to resemble the hormonally challenged train wreck that you would get if you took a random sample from the teenage population of your local high school? Or is it just me, a little overcome by the close proximity of my own hormonally challenged people, imagining grown-ups behaving like adolescents? You've seen it. It's fair game. Let's talk about it.

Big Brother 14...Worse Than A Puppet

     Janelle's fans are ranting about her "unfair" eviction. Danielle's haters are lining up to call her out on every lie she's ever told. Opponents of production's interference in the game are threatening to strike in retaliation. It seems to me that the action going on outside the game has become far more interesting than the game itself.

     Not that what's going on now could be called a game. A game requires players. And any shot that we might have had at having some of those was eliminated when Allison Grodner put vets in the house. What we're stuck with instead is a bunch of people hanging out in the Big Brother house waiting to become one of two things, a pawn or collateral damage. I'm starting to think I was better off watching Big Barry and his awful singing over at AGT. *sighs and stoically resigns self to the unavoidable reality of substandard entertainment for the remainder of the summer*

     Speaking of substandard...Julie Chen's "homeskillet" Frank is HOH and has used the power that he lucked into this week to do NOTHING. The puppet wanted to become a player. Too bad the puppet was so enamored with being the other half of ChillTown 2.0 that he didn't notice when master manipulator Boogie turned him into his bitch instead of his partner.

     A player would have used his power to target the vets. A player would have known that Boogie's best shot at winning is sitting next to another vet at the end and seen Boogie's opposition to Frank's wanting to nominate Dan for the self-serving act that it was. But Frank is not a player. He's not even a puppet anymore. He may be off his leash, but he's so well trained that he doesn't need one.
     I won't be watching tonight. Yes, again. And, no, I am not on strike. I just don't care to watch Frank win the POV only to follow his master's commands to keep the floaters on the block. I probably won't even watch tomorrow night to see which one of them goes home, partly because I don't care, but mostly because I'm anxious to avoid the HD version of Frank's and Ashley's "ice cream date". Ewwwwww.
     So tell us what you think. Are you, like me, trawling On Demand in search of entertainment to help you pass the time until Survivor starts? Or are you satisfied with a poor imitation of last season's Big Brother? You've seen it. It's fair game. Let's talk about it.

Big Brother 14...We Have A Rematch

     In one corner, we have Karma, forced to make a return trip to the Big Brother house to finish the work that it began last week. Its primary objective? To rid the house guests (and the rest of us) of the vile cretin that is Frank, AKA Teller of Heinous Lies.

     In the other corner, we have Ironic Justice, also making a repeat appearance, but rather than targeting a lowly minion, its aiming instead for the lowly minion's leader, mean girl and so phony it makes my teeth hurt, Janelle.

     After careful consideration, I've decided that I don't care who emerges victorious. I am an equal opportunity cheerleader this week.
     I have been rooting for Karma to take out Frank since week one when Frank lied about Willie exhibiting homophobic behavior in an attempt to garner votes. The victory would have gone to Karma in last week's match if not for the machinations of Allison Grodner. A win tomorrow night would restore an element of fair play removed from the game last week, and ensure that the aforementioned vile cretin does not benefit from a lie that no one should tell under any circumstances. Go Karma!
     I have been rooting for Ironic Justice since week two when Shane partnered up with Boogie and Frank to target Janelle's team. It just seemed so appropriate that the people planning to go after her were people that she had betrayed (Shane because, as a member of Britney's team, he was no longer useful to Janelle once Boogie's team was in power) or was getting ready to betray (Frank and Boogie because their reign was almost at an end). Janelle is a shameless floater, attaching herself to whoever is currently occupying the HOH room. The over-the-top display of enthusiasm when Danielle won the endurance competition was just this side of ridiculous. Go Ironic Justice!
     Also, and I have been quite vocal about this, the vets should never have been allowed to play. A win for Ironic Justice tomorrow night would mean one less vet in the game. I realize that it was the vets who put Janelle within reach of Ironic Justice and, for this, I am grateful. And perfectly willing to sit back and watch the vets take each other out.
     To say that I'm disappointed in the newbies would be so much more polite than they deserve. The only two that seem to be playing the game (besides the vets) are Shane and Frank (who is so reprehensible that he doesn't count) so, unless the puppets decide to become players and ally themselves with Shane and Frank, these two newbies will be nothing more than pawns to get the vets to the end, where a vet will win. Just like last season.

     There have been reports on Twitter by feeders who have seen puppets Wil, Jenn, and Ashley showing signs of becoming real players, but I refuse to let myself hope. These are the same people who decided to ignore Willie's warning about the "coaches" running the game. It will take more than talk to make a believer out of me.

     I won't be watching tonight's episode. I have zero interest in the edited version of the manipulation of Danielle, the needy, neurotic, and certifiably delusional puppet who will most likely take the credit for Janelle's eviction (if it happens) when it was Boogie and Dan (with a little help from Britney) who have been pulling the strings in the house this week. I might tune in for the last few minutes though. I've seen the screenshots of Janelle looking like she'd been dragged backward through a bush after the POV ceremony, but seeing her in the moment that she realizes that Ironic Justice has snuck up on her arrogant self promises to be entertaining.
     So tell us what you think. Karma or Ironic Justice? Vets or Newbies? Intense psychotherapy or a psychopharmacological cocktail of antipsychotic drugs and antidepressants for Danielle? Or both? You've seen it. It's fair game. Let's talk about it.

Big Brother 14...Willie Hantz Gone But Not Forgotten

     There are no words strong enough to describe the current state of affairs in the Big Brother house. Actually there are, all of them profane, but my daughter, who has had quite the foul mouth on her lately, knows how to use the word hypocrite in the proper context.
     Some words I can use...

     Teller of heinous lies. I have always held gifted liars in the highest esteem, they get the farthest in this game. But there are some lines that should never be crossed, not even for a big pile of money, and that *whispers a profane word* Frank probably farted on it on his way over it. Willie DID NOT imitate Wil in a way that could be considered offensive. We all saw it because CBS showed it to us on Thursday night, probably so we could see and hear the same thing that Frank and Britney (I'll get to her in a minute) did. Frank lied about something vile that DID NOT happen in an effort to save himself from eviction. And it worked. That *whispers another even better profane word* is now at the tippy top of my list of people I want gone from the Big Brother house.

     "Victim" of her own stupidity and lack of moral compass. Britney knew who she was dealing with when she ran her mouth to Willie about the possibility of the coaches entering the game. She had to know that he would A. try to do something about it, and B. go about it in a way that would probably annoy the other newbies as well as plaster a big fat target on his back with the "coaches". It was a stupid thing to do and she deserves what happens next. Furthermore, she was present when Willie DID NOT make fun of Wil for being gay. She knew that Frank was lying, and that *shouts profane word for a woman's lady part because daughter has finally left for work* allowed the house to vilify an innocent man, who is also a member of her team, without speaking a single word in his defense. I want her gone. And, in the meantime, I want her to stop whining and blaming Willie for the troubles she brought on herself.

     Loudmouth troublemaker. He yells at me during DR, he is either incapable or unwilling to keep a secret, and he creates drama and chaos whenever and wherever anyone might be experiencing a moment of peace. He is everything I avoid. I want him gone too, hopefully with Ashley in a double eviction.

     My favorite Hantz. I labeled Willie a figurehead early in his reign as HOH because the decisions that were his to make were actually being made by his "coach" and her alliance, another "coach". To his credit, Willie made every effort to rectify this situation once it was brought to his attention. He attempted to organize a rebellion, rallying the newbies to play the game they had signed up for rather than the one their "coaches" were using them to play for themselves. He was accused of something vile by someone, that *whispers profane word for location of male's second brain because husband is now home and has been known to blab to daughter* Frank, who, according to one of my sources (daughter's friend with access to Live Feeds), later admitted that he told this lie to secure someone's (Ashley's?) vote. He was then treated heinously by pretty much everyone in the house over something he didn't do. My source also tells me that Willie was even treated badly by members of his own team, including his "coach" Britney who laid all the blame for problems, caused by her utter lack of leadership skills and her inability to keep her trap shut, on him.
     I wish I could say that he handled these hardships well. I believe that he did the best he could. It couldn't have been easy to live with being unjustly labeled homophobic and then scapegoated, and, if faced with the prospect of being trapped in a house with people that would do that to someone, I don't know that I could have kept my temper either.

     As I understand it, Willie warned the posse running the house this week what was coming and then proceeded to give CBS several reasons to expel him. I cannot support his doing this because I oppose violence, except the verbal kind hurled at a big-nosed *whispers profane word for a female dog* who has gone out of her way to provoke an altercation and therefore deserves it, but I do understand why he did it. And, for what it's worth, I'm sorry. Willie did not deserve what happened to him in that house. I will miss him. He was the only one not willing to play the "coaches" game and, for this, I respect him.
     I have a few thoughts about the puppets that Willie left behind and CBS for the part they played in perpetuating his downward spiral, but I'm out of words I can use. For now.
     So tell us what you think. Do you agree with Willie's choice to leave the game? Or should he have stayed and let others determine his fate in the game? And what about the people responsible for the position he ultimately found himself in? What kind of words do you have for them? You've seen it. It's fair game. Let's talk about it.

Big Brother 14...A Twist Gone Horribly Wrong

     Big Brother took a great big whizz in my Cinnamon Toast Crunch Sunday night. My fear that this summer's game would be played by the four returning house guests, rather than the newbies, was confirmed in spectacular high definition as what was supposed to be a mere twist morphed into the main event. The "coaches" have made the game all about them and the newbies are letting them.
     Britney and Janelle have teamed up to avenge the losses they both suffered in their seasons to guys that they attempted to use to get them to the end. The users got used by players better than them at that particular game, plain and simple. But these ladies don't see it that way. They see themselves as victims and, to them, this season is nothing more than an opportunity (that they are entitled to by the way) to take what had been so unfairly denied to them previously. So now we have Team Sour Grapes setting themselves in opposition to Boogie and Dan, who must work together or perish.

     If any proof was needed that the "coaches" are running this game, one need look no further than the two newbies, Kara and Frank, sitting on the Block, victims of a plot hatched by Team Sour Grapes intended to turn Dan and Boogie against each other. Kara is a member of Team Dan and Frank team Boogie and, if they are both unfortunate enough to remain on the Block, their fate will be determined by the brain trust powering Team Sour Grapes. It will come down to whether Britney wants Kara gone, as a step closer to eliminating Dan from the game, more than Janelle wants to settle an old grudge with Boogie, which would send Frank out the door.

     Even more frustrating to me than the self-serving "coaches" is the complacent (because they're starstruck?), almost animatronic newbies who are behaving as though they exist in the Big Brother house merely to do the "coaches" bidding. Willie is just a figurehead up in the HOH room, Kara's and Frank's asses are on the Block because Britney and Janelle wanted them there, and if what I've been told is true (my daughter watches BBAD; she's a teenager, she stays up all night and sleeps all day), the POV winner does exactly what his "coaches" tell him to do. If the puppets, uh newbies, continue in this vein, this season will be unwatchable.
     So I'm taking it back. CBS did NOT get it right. Like a benevolent Santa they bestowed upon us what promised to be a successful twist, but then all Grinchlike they sabotaged our Christmas in July present by dumping "coaches" with their own agendas into the middle of what could have been a great game. Not cool CBS. Y'all need to fix this pronto. I don't care how. Embrace that Nike slogan and Just Do It.
     One last thing. Ian has joined Ashley on my short list of newbies that I would like to see sitting next to that Jeff Probst wannabe Julie Chen ASAP. He is a creeper. He tippytoes around the house talking to himself and behaving weirdly. He lurks pervelike in the bathroom hoping to get a glimpse of naked lady parts. According to my BBAD source, he asked Ashley for a date and she accepted. I knew there was something wrong with her.
     So tell us what you think of this CBS engineered clusterfuck. Do you want to see the "coaches" booted out on their self-serving asses? Or are you enjoying the Team Sour Grapes vs. Team Play Dead show? You've seen it. It's fair game. Let's talk about it.

***I would like to extend my gratitude to the folks at Big Brother Junkies for the photo of Willie Hantz. It pretty much says it all, doesn't it. HOH indeed.***

Big Brother 14...Let The Hell Raising Begin

     All hail Big Brother. Thus far, this has been the summer of suck. The Closer is airing its final episodes (depressing), the storylines over at True Blood are lame and boring (annoying), and my used to be favorite judge on America's Got Talent forced a zero talent "singer" named Big Barry (who isn't big by any stretch of the imagination) on a very pissed off America who didn't appreciate some of their favorites being sent home to make room for him (depressing and annoying). Howard Stern has it right. Howie Mandel owes us an apology. And until we get one I'm boycotting AGT, which doesn't leave me with much to keep me entertained and out of trouble, unless, of course, Big Brother doesn't suck again this summer. So please, please, please don't let what I saw the other night be just my poor desperate mind playing tricks on me because it showed all the signs of being this summer's one saving grace and my own personal salvation.
     This season is showing some real promise. It began with a great big resounding HOORAY when it was revealed that none of the four returning house guests were--let me see...what did I call her before...oh yeah--that vile woman with a borderline personality disorder and an intensely annoying, whiny teenage girl voice. A Big Brother season without Rachel Reilly is a good season. Period.
     I also have to say that, as far as twists go, having the returning houseguests mentor the newbies has definite possibilities, providing that the game doesn't become a competition between the coaches with the newbies nothing more than collateral damage as the coaches settle old grudges or stroke their own egos.
     It's tough to call after only one episode (I don't subscribe to the Live Feeds, I just don't have that kind of time, and BBAD is on way past my bedtime), but the newbies seem likeable enough, except for Ashley, owner of a mobile spray tanning company, who makes me cringe every time she speaks and the vets, Britney (Season 12), Mike Boogie (Season 2 player and Season 7 winner), Janelle (Seasons 6 and 7), and Dan (Season 10 winner), have proven themselves entertaining in the past, well, except for Dan who flew under the radar in his season by becoming one with the furniture, so I believe we have reason to hope that this season will turn out to be a good one. After the last two seasons, there really is nowhere to go but up, but being Rachelless and possessing a twist with potential has already lifted the current season above trash level (Seasons 12 and 13) and mediocrity (Season 11). I will be practicing optimism (translation: hoping for the best as I brace myself for the worst) as I watch tonight's show.
     So, tell us what you think. Is there reason to hope, or have you seen something that has made you swear off this season already? And what about those coaches? Did CBS get it right? For the record, I think they did and I hope Britney and her team kick some serious ass this summer. You've seen it. It's fair game. Let's talk about it.