Survivor: Caramoan...Stick To The Plan

It was so good that I had to see it again. And then, just because that man had behaved in such a putrid manner toward his fellow tribe mates, I had to watch it a third time. The Three Amigos cancelled The Phillip Sheppard Show in what will likely go down in Survivor history as the best Tribal Council ever.

Phillip dubbed him The Enforcer, but Malcolm will probably be better remembered by him as The Assassin, not only of his Survivor life but also of his character because that's how Phillip's particular brand of crazy works. It enables him to accept the unavoidable while perpetuating the delusions that keep the crazy running like a well oiled machine. The unavoidable truth? Malcolm terminated him. The delusion that martyred Phillip, making his termination tolerable to him? Malcolm maligned his character, when, in reality (ours, not Phillip's), Malcolm merely stated a few irrefutable facts for the Tribal Council record.

It all began with Reynold winning the Immunity Challenge, spoiling the Stealth R Us plot to get rid of him. Not being a particularly imaginative bunch (and being run by a crazy despot and his idiot deputy), Stealth R Us switched the target to Malcolm, but clung to their favorite plan to always split those votes.

Malcolm literally pulled an Immunity Idol out of a hole in a rock to thwart Stealth R Us for a second time, causing the target to shift from him to Eddie and eliminating the split vote cherished by Phillip and his minions.

Which brings us to my favorite forum, Tribal Council, where Big Mouth Andrea announced that Eddie was going to be joining Michael at The Ponderosa because her alliance's first choice, Reynold, won immunity and their second choice, Malcolm, found an immunity idol, which Malcolm immediately produced for all to gawk at.

Big Mouth Andrea later proceeded to whine about how difficult it was for her to have to avoid Malcolm, Reynold, and Eddie at camp because of the target that it was making of her due to paranoia. She would probably still be running off at the mouth if Jeff hadn't interrupted her to ask Malcolm about tension at camp. And then...IT happened...the moment that very nearly redeemed the entire wretched season. Malcolm pulled out the Immunity Idol that no one knew he had and handed it to Eddie, giving Stealth R Us their third screwing of the day.

Nothing shines a bright light on incompetence like an unexpected development. Former special agent Phillip couldn't have been properly trained because he clearly did not have an alternate plan in place, and he demonstrated an incapacity for quick thinking when he told his fellow incompetents to vote the way that they had originally planned, even though Malcolm had announced that The Three Amigos, he, Reynold, and Eddie, would be voting for Phillip.

FACT:  Phillip selfishly ran Boston Rob's Survivor playbook without regard for the wishes or feelings of others.
FACT:  Phillip treated others with condescension and disrespect.
FACT:  Phillip's alliance did nothing to save him. (And they couldn't help themselves...they split those votes.)

To those responsible for the termination of Phillip, thank you. You have done Survivor fans everywhere a great service.