Big Brother 15...WTF

She finally did it. Julie Chen finally succeeded at what she has been striving to do all season long...drape herself in something even more ugly than the imitation Snuggie that she wore to the season finale of Big Brother 11.

My little friends and I whipped up something very similar to this out of grocery bags from the local A&P as a first grade art project. Only ours was way better accessorized.

Other contenders in the What The Fuck Was She Thinking category...

The racist princess has given herself Bozo The Clown eyebrows to match her makeup, and

the racist nutjob is sporting glasses that completely swallow her face. How very Christopher Reeve as Clark Kent, circa 1978, of her.

As for the self-proclaimed "pretty girl" with the overinflated opinion of herself that was booted to the jury house last night...At least she had some memorable moments. She refused to let Jeremy and his skank intimidate her into giving up her bed, she called Helen out on her lying and double-dealing, she blabbed gossip guaranteed to ignite a gutter version of a girly war between Aaryn and GinaMarie, and she branded Elissa, "Rachel's Shadow", may the moniker plague Elissa for the rest of her days.

And may all of the people responsible for this trashy season of Big Brother get what is coming to them. Amen.

Big Brother 15...The Blame Game

A racist princess, a racist nutjob, and a vicious skank are sitting on the block. At stake is a half million dollars, questionable notoriety, and two more months (potentially) of forced cohabitation with whoever stays. Who do you evict?

The vicious skank.

Why? Because everybody wants to sit next to the racist princess at the end, nobody wants to let the racist nutjob off her leash until poor Nick has relocated with a brand new identity, and almost everybody performs deplorably in competitions and cannot afford to allow the highly competitive vicious skank to stay.

So...The "catty girls", as Kaitlin dubbed Aaryn and GinaMarie, have lost an ally and are, according to her, responsible for her odious behavior while she was in the Big Brother house. She is using the "their bad behavior rubbed off on me" defense, and is claiming her own poor choice in allies as her only misdeed.

And the woman with the degree in broadcast journalism, whose job it is to call bullshit when it is being flung about, let her get away with it.

Jeff Probst would have had footage of Kaitlin bullying Jessie and taunting Candice. He would have had her confessing her multitude of sins and begging for forgiveness. He would have done his job, and earned our respect.

Julie Chen just makes us wonder how she got her job.

Big Brother Australia starts on Monday. Finally.

Big Brother 15...The Pizza Boy Delivers

Twists that don't involve pitting hasbeens against pitiful starstruck newbies or dragging in hasbeens disguised as "coaches"? A Julie Chen that doesn't grate on one's last nerve? And a cast of houseguests that seems diverse enough in personality to make the game interesting and keep us entertained for an entire summer? It is the Big Brother that the majority of fans have been asking for...which is why I don't trust it.

History tells us that Allison Grodner has an affinity for hasbeens that could not have been satisfied by the single intrusion of that wretched cackling hag Rachel Reilly on her sister's introduction video. I doubt that the season premiere will be the last time that she will be foisted on us.

History also tells us that the cast and the game will be manipulated by Grodner and her herd of incompetents to the detriment of both. The first "twist" that saves the sister of one of Grodner's all-time favorites from eviction will prove the repetition of history.

As for Julie, she probably only seems less irritating and almost competent to someone that witnessed the appalling horror that was Big Brother Canada's Arisa Cox. Julie's first interview with an evicted houseguest (please let it be Elissa) will likely take care of any affinity I may have felt.

It's way too early in the game to know with any degree of certainty who will kick ass and who will just be one. But I believe I've seen enough of these people to make some predictions.

If McCrae commits to this game with the same passion that he has committed to the pizza delivery job he loves, then the first HOH competition will not be the last thing that he wins.

Jessie likely suffers from acute narcissistic personality disorder. She is not capable of anything that will make me like her.

For as long as Elissa remains in the Big Brother house, Grodner has the flimsy excuse she needs to continue to foist an irritating hasbeen on us. The houseguests need to get rid of her. Now.

David makes Jordan Lloyd look like a Rhodes scholar.


The premiere demonstrated this season's potential. Hopefully, Grodner et al. will give it the chance it deserves to succeed.