Big Brother Australia...Bonzer

Last word of the season..."bonzer", which is Aussie slang for excellent, or first-rate.

This season of Big Brother Australia accomplished what no other reality show seems capable of any more. It remained entertaining after a strong premiere, and culminated with a finale that kept us riveted right up to the ending credits.

We even got a winner that had played a game worthy of a big pile of money.

Tim was the ultimate shit stirrer. He knew which buttons to push in each of his fellow housemates and exactly when to push them to achieve the desired effect. Tim advanced his game and held us in thrall as we waited impatiently for his next move.

We also waited impatiently for Tim's turn in the Nomination Chamber--"Did you get that, Tully?!"--and his Diary Room sessions, where he was often called to account for his many misdeeds.

Tim Dormer gave us everything our hearts desire in a realty show contestant, and Big Brother Australia gave us the realty show that all realty shows should aspire to be.

Next summer cannot come soon enough.

Big Brother Australia...A Fake Prince

Phrase of the day..."All froth and no beer", which is Aussie slang for superficial.

Ed is like the beautifully wrapped Christmas present that turns out to be a pair of generic gym socks...a huge disappointment once you've gotten a good look at what hides beneath the handsome exterior.

Ed's good looks got him dubbed "Prince Charming" by his fellow housemates, but his personality did not live up to the nickname.

Ed is an "ear basher" (Aussie slang for a bore), whose rambling Diary Room sessions made us glad of our option to mute him, and wonder at his housemates' ability to endure more than five consecutive minutes within earshot of him.

Ed is also a callous manipulator who "did the dirty" (did the wrong thing) by Jade. He exploited her genuine feelings for him, deliberately deceiving her into believing that he returned those feelings, to further his own game.

It wasn't princely, or charming.

Big Brother Australia...Bugger All

Phrase of the day...Bugger all, which is Aussie slang for very little or nothing.

The Australian public's fascination with the blatant manipulation of an insecure and needy young woman continues to elude me. Madaline may have brought bugger all to the game, but she was easier to stomach than "Prince Charming" and "Lady Jadey".

Speaking of nauseating...

This week's Freeze Task ceased to be entertaining the moment that Tully strutted in and proceeded to slime the lower half of Drew's face. She then announced that she is now single, which is hardly surprising considering that she did bugger all but whinge and cheat on her girlfriend the entire time she was in the Big Brother house.

As for Mikkayla...I did not forget to blog about her eviction last week.

I could not find any Aussie slang for two-faced, hypocritical harridan, and there was bugger all else to say.

Big Brother Australia...Bull's Wool

I call bullshit. That's a phrase that Americans throw out when someone tries to tell us something that isn't true.

Nathan Barlow quit. He did not "make the ultimate sacrifice for the sake of another housemate" as we were told. He "dropped his bundle" (Aussie slang for "gave up"), and then we were given "bull's wool" (Aussie slang for "misleading information") in an obvious attempt to make a hero out of a quitter.

That wasn't the only bull's wool being peddled this week.

We are also expected to believe that the voting population of Australia prefers Ed over Ben.

Ed is a ruthless manipulator disguised as "Prince Charming", and is taking shameless advantage of Jade's weird obsession with him in a desperate attempt to avoid eviction.

Ben's gentle nature, quirky behavior, and offbeat sense of humor has made him one of the voting public's favorite housemates this season, his only rival being Tim. Until today that is, when, supposedly, the public chose to continue to gag on Ed's awkward attempts to fake his way through a one-sided relationship with Jade, rather than enjoy the genuine person that is Ben.

I call bull's wool.

Big Brother Australia...A Positive Experience

Word of the day..."Chipper", which is Aussie slang for cheerful and lively.

Katie and Lucy, who happily embraced the Sugar Sisters moniker bestowed on them, were quite possibly the most chipper contestants to ever appear on a reality show, where strong emotions, particularly inexhaustible cheerfulness, are difficult to fake for any length of time.

Mean girl Tahan could not conceive of anyone being that chipper, which led her to question whether the Sugar Sisters' matching sunny personalities were genuine and then set herself in hostile opposition to them. She took pleasure in nominating them for eviction at every opportunity because she felt threatened by something that she couldn't understand...genuinely happy girls incapable of saying an unkind word about anyone.

Whether you found the bubbly Sugar Sisters, with their matching outfits and penchant for speaking in unison, annoying as Tahan did, or lovely as Ben, Jade, and Mikkayla did, you have to concede one thing.

They were the real thing.

Big Brother Australia...Emotional Hijacker

First word of the day..."Whinge".

Whinge is Aussie slang for complain persistently in a peevish or irritating way.

Tully managed to be both peevish and irritating, FOR FIFTY-SEVEN DAYS. Even in situations where a positive attitude would have served her better, Tully radiated negativity, polluting the positive air with her constant whining, ABOUT ABSOLUTELY EVERYTHING.

Second word of the day..."Sook".

Sook is Aussie slang for sulk, often to the point of behaving like a small child. It is also used to describe an overly emotional or sensitive person.

"Typhoon Tully" threw a tantrum whenever she didn't get her way, which was often. Attempts by reasonable adults to address her immature behavior were met with hostility and resulted in more tantrums.

Tully also used frequent histrionics to emotionally hijack situations that revolved around others. One of many possible examples of this was Tully's predictable sobbing fits during evictions that drew the attention away from the evicted housemate and onto her.

Last word of the day...

It is a universally recognized word for a woman that flagrantly disrespects the feelings of her significant other by engaging in romantic behavior with someone else.

I don't think that any of you need me to tell you what it is.

Big Brother 15...Game Over

It ends today. A floater will be declared the winner. The loathsome bigots will return to the real world where they will face some very real consequences for their abhorrent behavior. And, hopefully, the certifiable nutjobs that have been masquerading as "fans" will abandon their harassment of the families of the houseguests that they "hate" for normal pursuits such as gainful employment or community service. After today, life should return to whatever passes for normal when Big Brother is not twisting it into something virtually unrecognizable. Finally.

But first...

A few last words.

Huge disappointment.  McCrae had what it takes to dominate this game, but inexplicably chose to let his obnoxious hook-up dominate him and his game.

Go Candice.  Amanda thought that she was going to bully her fellow jury members, until Candice led the charge that shut her down.

Poor Judd.  Judd is the lone man trapped with a group of bitter women. Enough said.

Repugnant.  Anyone with Spencer's views of women and people of a different race or sexual orientation should be segregated from civilized society.

Appalling.  There is no legitimate excuse for someone GinaMarie's age to be as ignorant as she is.

Irritating.  Everything about Andy grated on my last nerve. All. Season. Long.

Shameful.  CBS perpetuated hate, and then tried to deny responsibility. This season of Big Brother will be its legacy.

It will never be forgiven or forgotten.

Big Brother Australia...Sleep, Gym, Eat, Tan

Word of the day..."Figjam", which is an acronym for Fuck I'm Good Just Ask Me and is an Aussie nickname bestowed upon people who have high opinions of themselves.

Matthew drew nominations from members of the "misfit" group for his perceived arrogance toward them. He was also regarded as a "meathead", a muscular guy that talks of little besides weights and the proficiency with which he lifts them, and couldn't be bothered to deviate from his rigid daily schedule of sleeping, working out, eating, and tanning with his fellow "popular" housemates to talk to anyone outside his group.

Consequently, Australia's voting public couldn't be bothered to vote to save Matthew, the fourth consecutive "popular" housemate to receive the least number of votes to remain in the game.

Matthew is also the fifth consecutive housemate that has been nominated by Tim to be forsaken by the voting public.

Coincidence? I don't think so.

Big Brother Australia...Galah

Word of the day..."Galah", which is Aussie slang for a loud-mouthed idiot.

Though Heidi was not an idiot, unless you count that time she picked a fight with Tim, she definitely had the loud-mouth part down like a champ. Her normal speaking voice obliterated all other sound in her immediate vicinity, and her voice raised in irritation or anger had the power to deafen. A bullhorn could not be more effective.

Heidi was a member of the "popular" group who frequently fraternized with members of the "misfit" population, earning their trust and then using the information that she got from them to foment gossip and cause trouble. Perhaps my memory is faulty, but didn't she castigate Tim for doing the same thing?

When Big Brother mandated that the housemates base their nominations on strategy last week, Heidi tied with Tim for the most nomination points because she was considered one of the biggest threats in the game.

And then the voting public of Australia gave Tim three times the number of votes to save than it gave Heidi, sending Heidi packing and making us wonder...

Who will the public choose when it is down to Tim and Ben?

Big Brother 15...Offensive Hypocritical Bully

Julie Chen is a coward. She seemed to be as intimidated by the verbally aggressive Amanda Zuckerman as most of Big Brother's houseguests were this season. After Amanda plunked herself down next to Julie to a chorus of boos from the audience and then joked about not being liked, it was clear that she couldn't have cared less about what people think of her. Amanda had proven all season that she lacks a filter of any kind, and her post-eviction attitude seemed to make Julie afraid to do her job.

Amanda Zuckerman bullied her fellow houseguests into letting her have her way. Failure to get her way led to taunts and other pathetic displays of immaturity that would make any self-respecting teenage mean girl cringe in embarrassment for her. She constantly played victim and claimed that she was being bullied, as she was threatening people. In a feeble attempt to appear as if she was doing her job, Julie gently inquired about the perception that Amanda was a bully, then let Amanda vehemently deny it, then let Amanda claim to hate bullying, and then let Amanda get away with contradicting herself by admitting that she bullied Elissa.

Like Aaryn Gries, Amanda Zuckerman made many offensive comments while in the Big Brother house, but, unlike Aaryn, Amanda was not confronted about any of them. Nor was she confronted about the hypocrisy of her warnings to Aaryn about her comments leading to her being perceived as a racist. Aaryn Gries was not treated unfairly by Julie Chen and CBS when she was confronted about her racist remarks because she should have been confronted, but it seems that she was not treated equally because Amanda Zuckerman should have been confronted as well.

As for Elissa...She entered the game with an unfair advantage, and should be grateful for the "angel" edit that she got, considering the reek of superiority and entitlement that emanated from her all summer long. Her remarks to Julie during her post-eviction interview proved that she was too clueless to have gotten that far in the game without a lot of help, and, if her classless exit from the Big Brother house is any indication of what life is going to be like in the Jury House, then Amanda and Aaryn are in for a miserable time.

Good.

Big Brother Australia...Gobsmacked Again

Phrase of the day..."Shits me up the wall", which is popular slang among Australians for "drives me crazy".

Caleb was a slob, particularly in the kitchen where some of his messes were potentially hazardous to the housemates' health, and irritated Tim, who declared Caleb messy and stupid and then nominated him for being "a sheep".

Caleb also ate a lot, which irked Ben, the self-appointed Condiment Police, enough to throw some nomination points Caleb's way.

Lastly, Caleb was a good bloke and pegged to win by his fellow housemates, making him a target for those who base their nominations on strategy (Jade).

For the second consecutive eviction, the voting population of Australia has shocked the housemates with its choice, and it is clear that it is not as in love with the "popular" housemates as they are with themselves. Why? Probably because they are not as fun to watch as the self-proclaimed "misfits", who manage to find more to do than just work out all the time...I am looking at you, Boys Club.

It should also be clear to anyone paying attention in the game that, while Tim's shit stirring may drive his fellow housemates to declare war, his shit stirring is the thing that endears him to the public, and, since it is the public that will have the last word, Tim's enemies openly oppose him at their own peril.

Just ask Jasmin.