Survivor: San Juan Del Sur...A Liar, A Quitter, and A Bunch of Nitwits

'Twas that precarious time right before The Merge when...

Jeff chastised the remaining incompetents on the Hunahpu tribe for ignoring some basic rules of Survivor, like rationing precious food and keeping track of vital possessions.

It poured rain on the deficient, and therefore tarpless, Hunahpus, but it was Julie that believed her suffering was somehow greater than that of her fellow tribe members, causing her to whine incessantly.

And, Dale promised his "Immunity Idol" to Jon in exchange for a free pass at Tribal Council.

Show of hands...Who is more than a little disappointed that we are being denied the opportunity to witness Jon or Jaclyn unwittingly play a fake Immunity Idol at a future Tribal Council?

The Merge pitted Jeremy and his allies against Josh and his allies, and Julie's needs against the needs of everyone else.

Apparently, Julie suffered from a lack of food in a way that was unique to the rest of her tribe, entitling her to hoard trail mix.

Busted and unwilling to face the consequences of her actions, Julie sneaked away to a clandestine meeting with Jeff, who mocked her "ordeal" before making her departure from the game and the abandonment of her alliance official.

So...The woman that didn't want to be known for her lady parts can rest assured. She is going to be remembered for her selfishness and her cowardice instead.

Survivor: San Juan Del Sur...Collateral Damage

Collateral Damage is frequently used as a military term, where non-combatants are unintentionally killed or wounded as a result of the attack on legitimate enemy targets.

The combatants were Missy, who resented Dale for his distrust of her daughter, Baylor, and his constant policing of the tribe's rice, and Dale, who begrudged the ex-Hunahpus every extra portion of rice that Missy served to them.

Battle lines were drawn, allies secured, and faster than you can say "self-centered bossy bitch" and "that guy picking on my kid" it was time for the first formal skirmish of their campaign.

Dale's daughter, Kelley, non-combatant, resident peacemaker, and the only member of her two-person troop to decline to engage in perpetuating the hostilities, was eliminated in the spirit rather than the letter of the notion of collateral damage, since the demise of her Survivor life had been intentional.

Apparently, the combatants deemed a legitimate attack on one another to be too risky and targeted one another's offspring instead.

I doubt that will be the last violation of the rules of war.