Big Brother 15...Offensive Hypocritical Bully

Julie Chen is a coward. She seemed to be as intimidated by the verbally aggressive Amanda Zuckerman as most of Big Brother's houseguests were this season. After Amanda plunked herself down next to Julie to a chorus of boos from the audience and then joked about not being liked, it was clear that she couldn't have cared less about what people think of her. Amanda had proven all season that she lacks a filter of any kind, and her post-eviction attitude seemed to make Julie afraid to do her job.

Amanda Zuckerman bullied her fellow houseguests into letting her have her way. Failure to get her way led to taunts and other pathetic displays of immaturity that would make any self-respecting teenage mean girl cringe in embarrassment for her. She constantly played victim and claimed that she was being bullied, as she was threatening people. In a feeble attempt to appear as if she was doing her job, Julie gently inquired about the perception that Amanda was a bully, then let Amanda vehemently deny it, then let Amanda claim to hate bullying, and then let Amanda get away with contradicting herself by admitting that she bullied Elissa.

Like Aaryn Gries, Amanda Zuckerman made many offensive comments while in the Big Brother house, but, unlike Aaryn, Amanda was not confronted about any of them. Nor was she confronted about the hypocrisy of her warnings to Aaryn about her comments leading to her being perceived as a racist. Aaryn Gries was not treated unfairly by Julie Chen and CBS when she was confronted about her racist remarks because she should have been confronted, but it seems that she was not treated equally because Amanda Zuckerman should have been confronted as well.

As for Elissa...She entered the game with an unfair advantage, and should be grateful for the "angel" edit that she got, considering the reek of superiority and entitlement that emanated from her all summer long. Her remarks to Julie during her post-eviction interview proved that she was too clueless to have gotten that far in the game without a lot of help, and, if her classless exit from the Big Brother house is any indication of what life is going to be like in the Jury House, then Amanda and Aaryn are in for a miserable time.

Good.

Big Brother 15...Moment of Reckoning

Aaryn Gries made racist and homophobic comments, too numerous and repugnant to repeat. Aaryn Gries behaved in a disgusting manner toward some of her fellow houseguests, particularly Candice Stewart. Aaryn Gries is an adult, and, as such, she should have expected that one of the many consequences of her actions would be someone confronting her about them.

Aaryn was not ambushed by Julie Chen, nor was she treated unfairly by CBS. Julie Chen was just doing her job for once, and, though CBS did initially scapegoat Aaryn for all the offensive behavior committed this season, the only behavior that Aaryn was confronted with was her own.

Aaryn did not take responsibility for her actions. She attempted to blame her intolerance and disrespect on being from the South, claiming that it caused her to be portrayed as a stereotype and her words to be taken out of context.

Forced to clear up any confusion regarding Aaryn's remarks while in the Big Brother house, Julie quoted some of them verbatim. Aaryn then denied her own words, claiming that she didn't remember saying any of those things.

There is no denying that Aaryn Gries has a long, hard road ahead of her. But it is a road of her own making. Hopefully, she will gain the perspective that Julie spoke of because she is going to need it.

I wish her luck.

Big Brother 15...The Many Faces of Helen

Fake emotions.

Fake tears.

Fake words of praise, encouragement, and support.

Fake loyalty. And fake knowledge about Big Brother.

Was anything about Helen real?

Yes. She had a very real conviction that she and a few chosen others are Good People, and, as such, They were entitled to be in the Big Brother house. She also embraced the delusion that America was cheering for Her to lead Them to victory over the Bad People, a fallacy that she spouted ad nauseam whenever she felt the occasion seemed to warrant it, which was pretty much whenever she was in danger of not getting her way.

Helen's other very real conviction was that it was Not Fair for evicted houseguests to be allowed to return to the game...until Julie gave her the happy news that she was going to be allowed to compete for a spot back in the Big Brother house.

Her disposable convictions regarding fair play conveniently forgotten, the giddy, jumping up and down version of Helen was fifth to fall off her perch, eliminating her from the Big Brother game, permanently.

Good Riddance.

Big Brother 15...WTF

She finally did it. Julie Chen finally succeeded at what she has been striving to do all season long...drape herself in something even more ugly than the imitation Snuggie that she wore to the season finale of Big Brother 11.

My little friends and I whipped up something very similar to this out of grocery bags from the local A&P as a first grade art project. Only ours was way better accessorized.

Other contenders in the What The Fuck Was She Thinking category...

The racist princess has given herself Bozo The Clown eyebrows to match her makeup, and

the racist nutjob is sporting glasses that completely swallow her face. How very Christopher Reeve as Clark Kent, circa 1978, of her.

As for the self-proclaimed "pretty girl" with the overinflated opinion of herself that was booted to the jury house last night...At least she had some memorable moments. She refused to let Jeremy and his skank intimidate her into giving up her bed, she called Helen out on her lying and double-dealing, she blabbed gossip guaranteed to ignite a gutter version of a girly war between Aaryn and GinaMarie, and she branded Elissa, "Rachel's Shadow", may the moniker plague Elissa for the rest of her days.

And may all of the people responsible for this trashy season of Big Brother get what is coming to them. Amen.

Big Brother 15...Double Sacrifice

So...The teaser of a big twist that Julie Chen sent out via Twitter on double eviction day amounted to nothing more than an announcement that this season's jury members may not be out of the game just because they're out of the Big Brother house. This will serve to severely limit the scope of Chen's post-eviction interviews with the remaining houseguests, four of them blatant racists. Convenient.

Like Howard Overby, Candice Stewart was never going to win Big Brother. Neither had any game, and the house was stacked against them, Robyn Kass and Allison Grodner having loaded it with bigots. Howard chose to rise above the hate by ignoring it, to no avail; but Candice got down in the gutter with the trash and fought back, only to face the same fate. Candice was evicted last night, sacrificed on the CBS altar of worship to the all mighty ratings.

Judd was the second sacrifice of the night, this time to satisfy the ego and temporarily calm the paranoia of Amanda, the obnoxious, racist harpy that has been inexplicably allowed to run the game. Judd's eviction was arranged by his own alliance, people (Amanda and her pussy whipped pizza boy, McCrae) that he had protected to the detriment of his own game.

Leaving us with nothing but the trash and the idiots that they use to further their games.

Big Brother 15...The Blame Game

A racist princess, a racist nutjob, and a vicious skank are sitting on the block. At stake is a half million dollars, questionable notoriety, and two more months (potentially) of forced cohabitation with whoever stays. Who do you evict?

The vicious skank.

Why? Because everybody wants to sit next to the racist princess at the end, nobody wants to let the racist nutjob off her leash until poor Nick has relocated with a brand new identity, and almost everybody performs deplorably in competitions and cannot afford to allow the highly competitive vicious skank to stay.

So...The "catty girls", as Kaitlin dubbed Aaryn and GinaMarie, have lost an ally and are, according to her, responsible for her odious behavior while she was in the Big Brother house. She is using the "their bad behavior rubbed off on me" defense, and is claiming her own poor choice in allies as her only misdeed.

And the woman with the degree in broadcast journalism, whose job it is to call bullshit when it is being flung about, let her get away with it.

Jeff Probst would have had footage of Kaitlin bullying Jessie and taunting Candice. He would have had her confessing her multitude of sins and begging for forgiveness. He would have done his job, and earned our respect.

Julie Chen just makes us wonder how she got her job.

Big Brother Australia starts on Monday. Finally.

Big Brother 15...All Kinds of Disclosure

Apparently, the brain trust in charge of decisions regarding the disclosure of racist, homophobic, misogynist, and offensive behavior committed by the house guests over on Big Brother thought that partial disclosure was in order. And Aaryn, having the dubious distinction of accruing the most pink slips as a result of her disgusting behavior, was tossed under the bus that CBS had commandeered just for the occasion.

Airing some of Aaryn's disgraceful behavior, while ignoring that of her compatriots, does not erase the stain of suspicion that CBS and its incompetents running production over at Big Brother are complicit in this behavior by allowing it to continue unchecked.

Only a ban of all such behavior and full disclosure can do that.

Speaking of full disclosure...Amanda decided to expose everything that she's been hiding under her clothes while in the Big Brother house. History tells us that CBS will probably air heavily edited footage of it, but they will acknowledge it, because sexual behavior attracts viewers and then keeps them happy.

History also tells us that viewers will get more footage of Jeremy parading around with Kaitlin clinging to him like a clip-on koala, followed by carefully edited footage of the two of them sharing sexually transmitted diseases because, again, that's what CBS thinks viewers want.

Perhaps Julie Chen can devote another segment of The Talk to explaining to us how stripping for the cameras and fornicating can "drive a story" or have anything whatsoever to do with "the elements of the game", since, according to Julie, footage of Aaryn's bigotry would not have been aired if it hadn't satisfied this criteria.

Sorry CBS. You can't have it both ways. And you are not fooling anybody.

Big Brother 15...The Pizza Boy Delivers

Twists that don't involve pitting hasbeens against pitiful starstruck newbies or dragging in hasbeens disguised as "coaches"? A Julie Chen that doesn't grate on one's last nerve? And a cast of houseguests that seems diverse enough in personality to make the game interesting and keep us entertained for an entire summer? It is the Big Brother that the majority of fans have been asking for...which is why I don't trust it.

History tells us that Allison Grodner has an affinity for hasbeens that could not have been satisfied by the single intrusion of that wretched cackling hag Rachel Reilly on her sister's introduction video. I doubt that the season premiere will be the last time that she will be foisted on us.

History also tells us that the cast and the game will be manipulated by Grodner and her herd of incompetents to the detriment of both. The first "twist" that saves the sister of one of Grodner's all-time favorites from eviction will prove the repetition of history.

As for Julie, she probably only seems less irritating and almost competent to someone that witnessed the appalling horror that was Big Brother Canada's Arisa Cox. Julie's first interview with an evicted houseguest (please let it be Elissa) will likely take care of any affinity I may have felt.

It's way too early in the game to know with any degree of certainty who will kick ass and who will just be one. But I believe I've seen enough of these people to make some predictions.

If McCrae commits to this game with the same passion that he has committed to the pizza delivery job he loves, then the first HOH competition will not be the last thing that he wins.

Jessie likely suffers from acute narcissistic personality disorder. She is not capable of anything that will make me like her.

For as long as Elissa remains in the Big Brother house, Grodner has the flimsy excuse she needs to continue to foist an irritating hasbeen on us. The houseguests need to get rid of her. Now.

David makes Jordan Lloyd look like a Rhodes scholar.


The premiere demonstrated this season's potential. Hopefully, Grodner et al. will give it the chance it deserves to succeed.

Big Brother 14...Good Riddance To A Vile Puppet

     He began life in the Big Brother house as a puppet. He ended it as the fool who succumbed to the power of Dan. In the interim, he told a vicious lie, enjoyed salvation from certain eviction thanks to that meddling busybody Allison Grodner, cheated during competitions (and got away with it), and ultimately expedited his own transfer to the jury house by failing to become a real player, choosing instead to obey his Grodner given master, Mike Boogie.

     It took five weeks longer than it should have--I'm glaring at you again, executive producer from the land of incompetents--but Frank is FINALLY gone. Please commence celebrating in whatever way you deem appropriate.

     Which reminds me...What possessed Julie Chen to conduct her post eviction interview with Frank in the hushed tones of someone consoling the grievously wronged? What she should have been doing is calling him to account for his many sins (including his shameless, and a little bit creepy, hijacking of Boogie's clothes from storage) with a disdain equal to his vileness. Add that sham of an interview to the rather long list of the ways that this season has failed to live up to its own standards.

     The perpetual thrower of competitions actually managed an HOH win last night, killing my wish to see his butt parked on Julie's couch right after Frank. Dan's short reign was not a total loss, however. I will never again have to listen to that obnoxious troublemaker Joe hollering at me from my television. I can live with that.

     What I can't live with is Ian allowing his HOH reign to be commandeered by puppet whisperer Dan. Ian should be masterminding Dan's demise, not renegading around with him and planning to nominate Jenn and Shane according to Dan's manipulations. *sighs* Add Ian to the short list of puppets (Shane and Frank) who became real players, only to revert to their original puppet state.

     Although it galls me to admit it, this game is Dan's to lose. He's running the house and has alliances to cover all contingencies. And no one left in the game seems to be aware of it, or care enough to do anything about it.
     The good news? There are only twelve more days until Survivor starts.

Big Brother 14...Worse Than A Puppet

     Janelle's fans are ranting about her "unfair" eviction. Danielle's haters are lining up to call her out on every lie she's ever told. Opponents of production's interference in the game are threatening to strike in retaliation. It seems to me that the action going on outside the game has become far more interesting than the game itself.

     Not that what's going on now could be called a game. A game requires players. And any shot that we might have had at having some of those was eliminated when Allison Grodner put vets in the house. What we're stuck with instead is a bunch of people hanging out in the Big Brother house waiting to become one of two things, a pawn or collateral damage. I'm starting to think I was better off watching Big Barry and his awful singing over at AGT. *sighs and stoically resigns self to the unavoidable reality of substandard entertainment for the remainder of the summer*

     Speaking of substandard...Julie Chen's "homeskillet" Frank is HOH and has used the power that he lucked into this week to do NOTHING. The puppet wanted to become a player. Too bad the puppet was so enamored with being the other half of ChillTown 2.0 that he didn't notice when master manipulator Boogie turned him into his bitch instead of his partner.

     A player would have used his power to target the vets. A player would have known that Boogie's best shot at winning is sitting next to another vet at the end and seen Boogie's opposition to Frank's wanting to nominate Dan for the self-serving act that it was. But Frank is not a player. He's not even a puppet anymore. He may be off his leash, but he's so well trained that he doesn't need one.
     I won't be watching tonight. Yes, again. And, no, I am not on strike. I just don't care to watch Frank win the POV only to follow his master's commands to keep the floaters on the block. I probably won't even watch tomorrow night to see which one of them goes home, partly because I don't care, but mostly because I'm anxious to avoid the HD version of Frank's and Ashley's "ice cream date". Ewwwwww.
     So tell us what you think. Are you, like me, trawling On Demand in search of entertainment to help you pass the time until Survivor starts? Or are you satisfied with a poor imitation of last season's Big Brother? You've seen it. It's fair game. Let's talk about it.