Big Brother 15...Offensive Hypocritical Bully

Julie Chen is a coward. She seemed to be as intimidated by the verbally aggressive Amanda Zuckerman as most of Big Brother's houseguests were this season. After Amanda plunked herself down next to Julie to a chorus of boos from the audience and then joked about not being liked, it was clear that she couldn't have cared less about what people think of her. Amanda had proven all season that she lacks a filter of any kind, and her post-eviction attitude seemed to make Julie afraid to do her job.

Amanda Zuckerman bullied her fellow houseguests into letting her have her way. Failure to get her way led to taunts and other pathetic displays of immaturity that would make any self-respecting teenage mean girl cringe in embarrassment for her. She constantly played victim and claimed that she was being bullied, as she was threatening people. In a feeble attempt to appear as if she was doing her job, Julie gently inquired about the perception that Amanda was a bully, then let Amanda vehemently deny it, then let Amanda claim to hate bullying, and then let Amanda get away with contradicting herself by admitting that she bullied Elissa.

Like Aaryn Gries, Amanda Zuckerman made many offensive comments while in the Big Brother house, but, unlike Aaryn, Amanda was not confronted about any of them. Nor was she confronted about the hypocrisy of her warnings to Aaryn about her comments leading to her being perceived as a racist. Aaryn Gries was not treated unfairly by Julie Chen and CBS when she was confronted about her racist remarks because she should have been confronted, but it seems that she was not treated equally because Amanda Zuckerman should have been confronted as well.

As for Elissa...She entered the game with an unfair advantage, and should be grateful for the "angel" edit that she got, considering the reek of superiority and entitlement that emanated from her all summer long. Her remarks to Julie during her post-eviction interview proved that she was too clueless to have gotten that far in the game without a lot of help, and, if her classless exit from the Big Brother house is any indication of what life is going to be like in the Jury House, then Amanda and Aaryn are in for a miserable time.

Good.

Big Brother 15...WTF

She finally did it. Julie Chen finally succeeded at what she has been striving to do all season long...drape herself in something even more ugly than the imitation Snuggie that she wore to the season finale of Big Brother 11.

My little friends and I whipped up something very similar to this out of grocery bags from the local A&P as a first grade art project. Only ours was way better accessorized.

Other contenders in the What The Fuck Was She Thinking category...

The racist princess has given herself Bozo The Clown eyebrows to match her makeup, and

the racist nutjob is sporting glasses that completely swallow her face. How very Christopher Reeve as Clark Kent, circa 1978, of her.

As for the self-proclaimed "pretty girl" with the overinflated opinion of herself that was booted to the jury house last night...At least she had some memorable moments. She refused to let Jeremy and his skank intimidate her into giving up her bed, she called Helen out on her lying and double-dealing, she blabbed gossip guaranteed to ignite a gutter version of a girly war between Aaryn and GinaMarie, and she branded Elissa, "Rachel's Shadow", may the moniker plague Elissa for the rest of her days.

And may all of the people responsible for this trashy season of Big Brother get what is coming to them. Amen.

Big Brother15...The Barter System

Unwritten Big Brother commandment number one...Thou shalt not allow thy nether regions to choose thy alliances, or be used in an attempt to bind those of questionable loyalty to thou. The wages of this particular sin are just too steep.

McCrae's HOH status did not deter his reality game show hook-up from bossing him around in his own room.

Not only is Kaitlin sharing a bed with a major douche, but she has seriously overestimated the power of her "meat wallet" to guarantee Jeremy's allegiance to her.

David's strength in the first HOH endurance challenge made him a Moving Company target, his utter stupidity during the POV competition kept him on the block, but it was his showmance with "the biggest bitch in the house" that made the other house guests willing to send him out the door.

Speaking of the biggest bitch...Princess Bigot is currently ensconced in the HOH room plotting against her enemies, primarily Elissa, who came into the house with the Brenchel fan base behind her by virtue of her Reilly blood and a twist engineered by Grodner to give her an unfair advantage.

Unfortunately for Elissa, The Moving Company guys are talking about moving her out this week even though they orchestrated her safety last week with the intent to weaponize her MVP status to their advantage. Even if the Brenchel army does vote her MVP again this week (or Grodner claims that it did), there isn't a better target that she could offer them to get them to save her again.

Elissa needn't worry...Her favorite executive producer will take care of it.

Big Brother 15...The Pizza Boy Delivers

Twists that don't involve pitting hasbeens against pitiful starstruck newbies or dragging in hasbeens disguised as "coaches"? A Julie Chen that doesn't grate on one's last nerve? And a cast of houseguests that seems diverse enough in personality to make the game interesting and keep us entertained for an entire summer? It is the Big Brother that the majority of fans have been asking for...which is why I don't trust it.

History tells us that Allison Grodner has an affinity for hasbeens that could not have been satisfied by the single intrusion of that wretched cackling hag Rachel Reilly on her sister's introduction video. I doubt that the season premiere will be the last time that she will be foisted on us.

History also tells us that the cast and the game will be manipulated by Grodner and her herd of incompetents to the detriment of both. The first "twist" that saves the sister of one of Grodner's all-time favorites from eviction will prove the repetition of history.

As for Julie, she probably only seems less irritating and almost competent to someone that witnessed the appalling horror that was Big Brother Canada's Arisa Cox. Julie's first interview with an evicted houseguest (please let it be Elissa) will likely take care of any affinity I may have felt.

It's way too early in the game to know with any degree of certainty who will kick ass and who will just be one. But I believe I've seen enough of these people to make some predictions.

If McCrae commits to this game with the same passion that he has committed to the pizza delivery job he loves, then the first HOH competition will not be the last thing that he wins.

Jessie likely suffers from acute narcissistic personality disorder. She is not capable of anything that will make me like her.

For as long as Elissa remains in the Big Brother house, Grodner has the flimsy excuse she needs to continue to foist an irritating hasbeen on us. The houseguests need to get rid of her. Now.

David makes Jordan Lloyd look like a Rhodes scholar.


The premiere demonstrated this season's potential. Hopefully, Grodner et al. will give it the chance it deserves to succeed.