Big Brother 15...Moment of Reckoning

Aaryn Gries made racist and homophobic comments, too numerous and repugnant to repeat. Aaryn Gries behaved in a disgusting manner toward some of her fellow houseguests, particularly Candice Stewart. Aaryn Gries is an adult, and, as such, she should have expected that one of the many consequences of her actions would be someone confronting her about them.

Aaryn was not ambushed by Julie Chen, nor was she treated unfairly by CBS. Julie Chen was just doing her job for once, and, though CBS did initially scapegoat Aaryn for all the offensive behavior committed this season, the only behavior that Aaryn was confronted with was her own.

Aaryn did not take responsibility for her actions. She attempted to blame her intolerance and disrespect on being from the South, claiming that it caused her to be portrayed as a stereotype and her words to be taken out of context.

Forced to clear up any confusion regarding Aaryn's remarks while in the Big Brother house, Julie quoted some of them verbatim. Aaryn then denied her own words, claiming that she didn't remember saying any of those things.

There is no denying that Aaryn Gries has a long, hard road ahead of her. But it is a road of her own making. Hopefully, she will gain the perspective that Julie spoke of because she is going to need it.

I wish her luck.

Big Brother Australia...Gobsmacked

Word of the day..."Gobsmacked".

This is Aussie slang for astounded, and this is what it looks like.

An unofficial poll conducted by Big Brother in the privacy of the Diary Room revealed that the majority of the housemates thought that Mikkayla would be Australia's choice for eviction. Apparently, the "popular" people in the house assumed that their public would feel the same way about them that they do about each other.

The pertinent question is not what Jasmin did to get herself nominated by her fellow housemates and then forsaken by the Australian public. It is, how did she not see it coming?

Jasmin was two-faced. She had to know that someone as sharp as Mikkayla would notice the inconsistencies between Jasmin's treatment of her in one-on-one interactions and Jasmin's treatment of her when the "popular" housemates were around.

Jasmin had a big mouth. She had to know that constantly policing Tim's behavior and loudly airing her views about Jade while parked in the same room with her was going to offend them.

Jasmin was selfish. She had to know that she broke the girl code when she kissed Ed, and that it would hurt Jade, who had a thing for him. She also had to know that refusing to trade beds with Jade, even though the housemates had agreed that the nominated housemates would occupy the second bedroom, would be seen for the petty act that it was.

As an adult, Jasmin had to know how her actions would be perceived, and that those actions would have consequences. She either did not care, or believed that her "popular" status in the house would protect her.

She was wrong.

Big Brother 15...The Many Faces of Helen

Fake emotions.

Fake tears.

Fake words of praise, encouragement, and support.

Fake loyalty. And fake knowledge about Big Brother.

Was anything about Helen real?

Yes. She had a very real conviction that she and a few chosen others are Good People, and, as such, They were entitled to be in the Big Brother house. She also embraced the delusion that America was cheering for Her to lead Them to victory over the Bad People, a fallacy that she spouted ad nauseam whenever she felt the occasion seemed to warrant it, which was pretty much whenever she was in danger of not getting her way.

Helen's other very real conviction was that it was Not Fair for evicted houseguests to be allowed to return to the game...until Julie gave her the happy news that she was going to be allowed to compete for a spot back in the Big Brother house.

Her disposable convictions regarding fair play conveniently forgotten, the giddy, jumping up and down version of Helen was fifth to fall off her perch, eliminating her from the Big Brother game, permanently.

Good Riddance.

Big Brother Australia...A Bludger and A Dag

First word of the day..."Bludger".

This is Aussie slang for "a lazy person that always relies on others to do things for him", and is an accurate description of manchild Rohan, whose shiftless ways got him nominated for eviction by his fellow housemates.

The simplest tasks overwhelmed Rohan. Preparing food was too stressful. Setting the table for a meal was insurmountable because the concept of placemats was as baffling to him as long division is to a kid still learning simple addition and subtraction. And he can forget a career at Baskin Robbins unless he learns to take a proper ice cream order.

Our second word of the day is "Dag", which is Aussie slang for "a funny person or goof".

Xavier began his Big Brother experience as a "happy-go-lucky" dag that took to prison life in the Halfway House with good form, only to become "snappy" (which means the same thing in Australia that it does here) the following week. One bad week spent picking verbal arguments with the wrong people (Tully and Heidi) and offending his new friend Tim by sucking up to the "meatheads and the models" got him nominated.

What got him evicted? It seems that Tully's incessant whining is more entertaining to four percent more of the voting population of Australia than Xavier's silliness. Go figure.

Big Brother 15...WTF

She finally did it. Julie Chen finally succeeded at what she has been striving to do all season long...drape herself in something even more ugly than the imitation Snuggie that she wore to the season finale of Big Brother 11.

My little friends and I whipped up something very similar to this out of grocery bags from the local A&P as a first grade art project. Only ours was way better accessorized.

Other contenders in the What The Fuck Was She Thinking category...

The racist princess has given herself Bozo The Clown eyebrows to match her makeup, and

the racist nutjob is sporting glasses that completely swallow her face. How very Christopher Reeve as Clark Kent, circa 1978, of her.

As for the self-proclaimed "pretty girl" with the overinflated opinion of herself that was booted to the jury house last night...At least she had some memorable moments. She refused to let Jeremy and his skank intimidate her into giving up her bed, she called Helen out on her lying and double-dealing, she blabbed gossip guaranteed to ignite a gutter version of a girly war between Aaryn and GinaMarie, and she branded Elissa, "Rachel's Shadow", may the moniker plague Elissa for the rest of her days.

And may all of the people responsible for this trashy season of Big Brother get what is coming to them. Amen.

Big Brother Australia...Sharon Time

Phrase of the day..."Bored shitless".

This is Aussie slang for "very bored", and succinctly describes the viewers' experience whenever Sharon appears onscreen.

Sharon "couldn't be bothered" to play the game that she signed up for, limiting herself to interacting only with other Safe Housemates, which offended the Halfway Housemates into nominating her for eviction.

Banishment to the Halfway House taught Sharon a lesson in humility, but an attitude adjustment was not enough to overcome the massive boredom that her incessant tears and prattle about her children inflicted on viewers in charge of her fate.

Sharon swapped nurturing her three small children for mothering fourteen adults (fifteen, if you count Tim), but still considered her Big Brother experience to be the much needed break that she had thought she needed, though it ended too soon. For her.

For the people that matter the most...Sharon's time in the Big Brother house ended at exactly the right time.

Big Brother 15...Double Sacrifice

So...The teaser of a big twist that Julie Chen sent out via Twitter on double eviction day amounted to nothing more than an announcement that this season's jury members may not be out of the game just because they're out of the Big Brother house. This will serve to severely limit the scope of Chen's post-eviction interviews with the remaining houseguests, four of them blatant racists. Convenient.

Like Howard Overby, Candice Stewart was never going to win Big Brother. Neither had any game, and the house was stacked against them, Robyn Kass and Allison Grodner having loaded it with bigots. Howard chose to rise above the hate by ignoring it, to no avail; but Candice got down in the gutter with the trash and fought back, only to face the same fate. Candice was evicted last night, sacrificed on the CBS altar of worship to the all mighty ratings.

Judd was the second sacrifice of the night, this time to satisfy the ego and temporarily calm the paranoia of Amanda, the obnoxious, racist harpy that has been inexplicably allowed to run the game. Judd's eviction was arranged by his own alliance, people (Amanda and her pussy whipped pizza boy, McCrae) that he had protected to the detriment of his own game.

Leaving us with nothing but the trash and the idiots that they use to further their games.

Big Brother Australia...Beautifully Twisted

Word of the day..."Ace".

"Ace!" is Aussie (pronounced Ozzie) slang for "Excellent!" or "Very good!".

Examples include, but are not limited to the following...

Sonia Kruger is everything that a host of a reality game show should be. She is warm and engaging, possesses a great sense of humor, and is always up for a good time, which she generously shares with us. She also always looks smashing. Could somebody please arrange for her stylist to speak to Julie Chen's (Big Brother US) stylist? The poor thing is obviously in need of some assistance.

This season's slogan is "Let's Do The Twist" and, so far, has delivered on its promise.

A house divided into haves and have nots created literal and figurative divisions between the housemates that generate the kind of tension that could survive the Plexiglass walls coming down.

Nothing messes with the housemates, and amuses the rest of us, like people who pretend to be something that they're not. And nothing is more awkward for two strangers (Jade and Drew) than having to fake their way through being newlyweds.

Of course, the twists are useless without a proper cast. These people are funny, obnoxious, quirky, controlling, kindhearted, rude, silly, and seemingly incapable of making a simple shopping list. This likable lot is entertaining, and generates drama without being offensive, which, to a thoroughly disgusted blogger of Big Brother 15, is greatly appreciated.

Saturday Showdown wraps the housemates in plastic or dangles them over pools full of eels and pits them against one another for cash, luxuries, and power. Mike Goldman and Michael Beveridge (BBAU 2012) provide the commentary and additional hilarity. The only thing this imitation of Wide World of Sports weekly episode needs is a better host than Shelly Craft. Could somebody please inquire if Benjamin Norris is available?

Which brings us to Big Brother himself, whose wicked sense of humor is trumped only by his quick and deadly punishments for naughty behavior. For example...Tahan breached the wall separating the Halfway House from the Safe House to take a much frowned upon dip in the Safe House hot tub, earning an immediate scolding from Big Brother and the forfeiture of all her belongings, most notably her favorite hairdryer. Thanks to Big Brother, a housemate is penitent and ready to behave, and we get to be entertained in the bargain.

As we should be.

Big Brother 15...The High Road

This season of Big Brother will always be remembered for the hate that issued from the mouths of the ignorant and spread to the real world, where it festered, turning people against one another as they debated until they fought over the limitations of freedom of speech, the responsibility that witnesses of offensive behavior may or may not bear, and *shudders* the potential entertainment value of any drama that results from offensive behavior. This season has the dubious distinction of bringing out the worst in many and the best in almost none.

One of the few exceptions is Howard Overby, who chose to rise above the hate, ignoring the racial slurs and walking away from escalating situations even though he had nowhere to go.

Howard, clearly, was not made to play a cutthroat game like Big Brother. He was a truly awful liar and seemed incapable of manipulating others. He refused to participate in drama or allow himself to be provoked. Essentially, he demonstrated none of the qualities necessary for winning a half million dollars this season.

But he did show anyone wanting to learn how to walk the high road how to do it...with dignity.