Survivor: Philippines...A Million Dollar Mistake

Sometimes I hate it when I'm right. Malcolm blew his shot at a big payday when he sent Abi to join the pity party raging at the Ponderosa instead of Denise because he either forgot or ignored unwritten Survivor commandment number two...Thou shalt trust no one but thyself because even members of thine own alliance will cut thy throat for a million dollars. Malcolm trusted two floaters to honor their final three deal with him, and it cost him the game. *heaves huge sigh of disappointment*

At least the jury got it right. They awarded the victory and the big pile of money to the Survivor at the final Tribal Council that played the best game. Accusations that the jury as a whole was influenced by the bitterness of some of its members could have some merit. However, the decision rendered by the jury was the correct one, given the game Denise played compared to those played by Lisa and Michael, regardless of how it was arrived at. Denise was a Tribal Council warrior who survived three different tribes, Lisa let the game play her instead of the other way around, and Michael played most of the game in the role of Lisa's plus one. The jury's verdict may have been a punishment to Lisa and Michael for their betrayals as some have insinuated, but, since Denise was clearly the superior player, the verdict was just.

A few words about the Reunion...

Bitterness. RC was right. Pete wrecked her game for the sake of a little chaos, which eventually led to the implosion of the Tandang alliance. But the game ended months ago. Her hostility should have ended with it.

Redundancy. Lisa's issues were showcased ad nauseum every week without exception. Giving her precious airtime during the Reunion to address them AGAIN was cruel to the already beleaguered viewers that were in no way responsible for her Player of the Season win. *gags*

Hunger. Apparently, poor Carter was starving, not stoned. He should probably see a doctor about having his blood glucose monitored regularly.

Restraining Order. Jeff Probst needs one immediately. His stalker's behavior is escalating.

Overall, this season of Survivor was a vast improvement over recent seasons (last season was virtually unwatchable). Most of the players were likable even if they were incompetent, the exception being Abi who was both. The challenges were decent, even though all those multi round Immunity Challenges seemed to offer too many second and third chances when one should suffice with something so vital on the line. And, Jeff was present (literally and figuratively), getting the job done in a way that others can only hope to emulate--I'm looking at you, Julie Chen. He pushed all of the players to be the Survivors that they signed up to be and called them out on everything, drawing attention to the lazy and/or incompetent during challenges and asking the questions that made all the right people squirm.

This season made me want to come back again next season. See you in February.

Survivor: Philippines...The Price of Peace

At last. Can you feel it? Order has been restored to the universe, a universe where not even a million dollars is worth sleeping in close proximity to a machete wielding lunatic with a penchant for bullying the clumsy (Michael) and the emotionally distraught (Lisa). The principles that the final four had cast away in order to rid themselves of the potential threat that was Carter a mere three days previously made a convenient reappearance in direct violation of unwritten Survivor commandment number one...Thou shalt forsake thy worthy competitors and cast them aside when they are no longer useful to thy game in favor of detestable cretins that no right thinking jury member would ever deem worthy of a million dollar vote. The safest person to take to the end was sent packing by a unanimous vote, guaranteeing a peaceful final three days in the Philippines, for the Survivors anyway. Those poor suckers trapped at the Ponderosa are probably going to require liquid intervention of the alcoholic variety in order to cope.

Malcolm is still my favorite for the win. He survived the travesty that was the Matsing tribe, avoided being targeted by the Tandang Evil Three, and won immunity when he needed to. His only mistake? He kept Denise instead of Abi, perhaps because he thought his final three deal with Michael and Lisa would keep him safe, which it will, unless Denise wins the final Immunity Challenge.

Denise is the only Survivor that could beat Malcolm. She survived the same travesty, flew well under the radar when she drew the buff that sent her to Kalabaw, and survived every Tribal Council without betraying anyone to do it. She has definitely earned a seat at the final Tribal Council, if she can win the final Immunity Challenge to get there.

Lisa has stumbled blindly through this game, unable to see through that veil of tears she cannot seem to exert any control over. I don't know who can claim ownership of the principles that Denise keeps referring to, but, apparently, those principles are getting the blame for Abi's termination, and will probably cost Lisa any shot she might have had at winning.

Michael endured a nasty tempered little bitch calling him names to his face at Tribal Council with a quiet dignity that made me respect him a little, but not enough to make me forget that he is a hasbeen who has collected an astonishing number of injuries (even for a man that seems to require constant emergency medical treatment) rather than the victories that he needed in order to be deemed a competitor worthy of a million dollar jury vote.

So...Who will the jury pick? *shrugs shoulders* Juries are notoriously unreliable. They often cast emotional votes rendering a well played game meaningless, and, since this particular jury has the added volatility that a certifiable loony is guaranteed to bring...it's anybody's game.

Survivor: Philippines...No Respect

So...They are going to drag the histrionic soul sucker's carcass to the end after all. Why? Because those pesky lofty ideals that their spokesperson (Denise) bragged about two Tribal Councils ago were getting inconvenient, and voting out the tough competitors that are considered "deserving" and keeping vile incompetents is a beloved time-honored Survivor tradition.

Poor Carter never had a chance. He was everything that Abi is not...competitive, likable, and worthy of a few jury votes, which made him someone that the members of a certain final four alliance would rather see on the jury than sitting next to them at the final Tribal Council. His plea for respect as a fellow competitor went ignored and he was packed off to the Ponderosa by a unanimous vote.

Malcolm emerged victorious from a win or run along to the Ponderosa Immunity Challenge seemingly unaware of the necessity of the win and ready to send that bitch Abi to disrupt the peaceful harmony of the jury. A chat with Michael shifted the focus from the necessity of peace at camp to the importance of being parked next to someone that the jury hates at the final Tribal Council, and marked the beginning of the end for Carter.

When Michael's son gave himself road rash climbing a tree, I knew my hunch about the amount of time that the Skupin family clocks at their local ER had been dead on.

Denise is two or three Tribal Councils away from being the only Survivor in history to have the distinction of attending every Tribal Council of an entire season. If she makes it to the last one, she deserves to win.

The emotional roller coaster ride that we are trapped on with Lisa needs to end. It's nauseating and it endangers the Survivor lives of better players, who, incidentally, did not require their loved ones to suggest the obvious to them. The only people I want to see win less than Lisa is the crazy bitch and the hasbeen, in that order.

Speaking of the loved ones...I was right about Butthead paying the Survivors a visit. I was just wrong about who he was going to be there to see.

Survivor: Philippines...Crazy Luck

Sometimes it's better to be lucky than good. Occasionally, chance favors the desperate. Jonathan was a man without an alliance, making his vote for Abi rather than Pete on day twenty-two a colossal error that he was unlikely to recover from. But, as luck would have it, the fringe members of the Tandang alliance began turning on its leaders, the Evil Three, temporarily prolonging Jonathan's Survivor life.

And then sometimes chance favors the bitter, the obnoxious, and the toxic. Abi's behavior had made her tribe mates eager to be rid of her, making her good fortune at the Survivor Auction the only thing that stood between her and a one-way ticket to the Ponderosa. She literally bought her way into the final round of the Immunity Challenge, which presented no difficulties to someone that had rested on her backside for two grueling rounds and was not carrying any additional weight. Yet, she barely beat Carter, and then strutted about as if she had just set the course record in the Ironman Triathlon, making most of us want to vomit.

Abi's temporary stay of execution meant trouble for Jonathan, who had foolishly and inexplicably refused Michael's and Lisa's generous offer of a final three deal that most likely would have saved him. After that blabbermouth Lisa alerted him to her new alliance's plan to eliminate him, he attempted to round up enough votes to eliminate major threat Denise instead, but was unable to convince Michael and Lisa to violate their final four deal with Denise and Malcolm.

Two hasbeens down. One to go. As well as a crazy bitch, a tattletale, and Butthead's best friend.