Survivor: Caramoan...Chronic Incompetence vs. Combative Idiocy

So...It seems that Survivor has poached Allison Grodner from Big Brother and is letting her make vital casting decisions. What other plausible explanation could there be for that sorry bunch of "favorites" that we were presented with on Wednesday night? I refuse to believe that Mark (Burnett) and Jeff (Probst) were responsible for screwing up such an important aspect of the game that badly.

I will not rip on all of them individually (yet), but, as a collective whole, the "favorites" are seriously lacking. If not for the opening clips narrated by Jeff, I would not have recalled who some of these people are, the only memorable returning players being so for acts of colossal stupidity (Erik) or for coming perilously close to requiring a three day lockdown for observation at a maximum security mental health facility (former federal agent Phillip). The only properly labeled "favorite" seems to be Malcolm, who some will probably complain in my Comments--I'm looking at you, Mike--has an unfair advantage over the other returning players because no one in the game has ever seen him play, his season not having aired before this season was filmed. To this I say, "Shut up, you malcontent", and "Go kick some ass, Malcom".

The season opener mostly revolved around the ridiculous grudge borne by Phillip, sporting shocking pink skivvies this time, toward Francesca, bent on burying a hatchet nobody cares about. Long and very boring story short...Francesca wins nothing but the dubious distinction of being the only player in Survivor history to be voted out first more than once. And I am forced to wonder (again) how she got picked for a season of Fans vs. Favorites.

Speaking of the "fans"...All we really know about them is that perpetual adolescence has fostered a Cool Kids Alliance (oh please) and two of its members, Reynold and Allie, made a secret alliance, only to out themselves by playing grab-ass at bedtime. We also got to see Shamar inexplicably picking a fight with Matt, and resting on his lazy butt while the rest of his tribe was hard at work on the shelter. All of which begs the question...Have these people ever seen this show? Real fans wouldn't make such rookie mistakes.

The presence of incompetent "fans" might explain the bizarre selection of "favorites". It levels the playing field. *sighs* It's going to be a long season.