Big Brother 14...What Fresh Hell Is This?

     I've been putting a lot of money in the swear jar lately. My daughter borrowed my car (for the first and, quite possibly, the last time), hopped a curb (probably at a speed that would horrify me if I knew), and destroyed a two hundred dollar tire. The Tigers lost on the road, relinquishing first place to the loathsome White Sox. My daughter has warned me that she plans to move to Chicago after she graduates from college and will begin worshiping at Comiskey Park (now known as U.S. Cellular Field). I have put her on notice that I will disown her when she does. The result of all this misery? A pretty substantial wad of cash that could conceivably pay off my Visa bill. And then last night happened.
     I planted myself in front of my TV at the appointed time, still foolishly fantasizing about a twist that would evict two players I cannot stand with one live episode. What I should have been doing was anticipating the many ways that Allison Grodner could have been busy plotting to sabotage what has already become the season of suck.

     Watching Julie Chen try (and fail) to build suspense for the much anticipated results of America's vote was worth a laugh. Was it just me, or did she seem a little taken aback when the house guests registered zero surprise at her big announcement? Doesn't production keep her informed about what the house guests get up to when they're not busy talking to her? Everybody (house guests and viewers and anybody not living under a rock) knew that those "coaches" were going to be officially allowed to play at some point. Most of us even suspected that America was going to get stuck with the blame.

     What nobody saw coming was the atrocity that followed. Once the "coaches" entered the game as players, the season was going to "reset". Julie explained for the slow-witted among us that a "reset" meant that there would be no eviction this week. My translation of this? No eviction of Asshole 1 OR Asshole 2.
     I will not repeat my obscenity laden response to this. I can't even remember most of it. I do remember that my husband laughed and laughed and laughed. And then he went and got the swear jar and put it in my lap. And then he laughed some more.

     Somebody's ass should get fired for this. I'm looking at you Allison Grodner. When you had Julie ask America to vote on whether the "coaches" should be allowed to play, you should have had her inform America that the "choice" you were having her pretend to give us would result in an entire week of the game being erased as if it never happened. America wouldn't have voted for this either, and you knew it, which is why you manipulated the outcome (your signature move). I swear I don't know why anybody would sign up to play this game any more. The deck is stacked and the house cheats.
    CBS has a long history of this kind of thing. Many years ago, when nighttime soap operas were all the rage, some brain trust that had been put in charge of Dallas wrecked the last season so badly that the honchos in charge of the brain trust ordered a final scene that would erase the season in its entirety. That "reset" that CBS threw up last night was Bobby in Pam's shower all over again. I'd be embarrassed for CBS if I wasn't so fucking pissed.

     My personal views of this ridiculousness aside, how unfair is this to the people that didn't sign up to play the game that CBS pretended America forced on them last night? Shouldn't somebody have consulted with them as to whether they wanted the "coaches" to be allowed to "officially" enter the game? And what about Shane? Shouldn't somebody have checked with him to see if he was down with his HOH reign resulting in a big fat zero? Maybe this is why most of the newbies have been behaving like puppets. CBS cast them that way.

     So now what? An endurance competition followed that ill-conceived fuckery (THANK YOU Colette Lala for my new favorite word) last night, and, according to the folks on Twitter, Danielle is the new HOH. Will anything she does this week matter? With Allison Grodner running this season into the ground, and in record time, it's anybody's guess. The only thing I know for certain is that, IF I continue to watch this fuckery (I LOVE that word), the swear jar is going to finance a trip to Disney World by the time it's all over.
     So tell us what you think. Do you want Allison Grodner's head on a pike on your front lawn Game of Thrones style? Or do you think that "resetting" Big Brother was a brilliantly conceived and well executed plan that should earn her a promotion and a nice raise? And what about her victims? What do you think she's going to do to them next? You've seen it. It's fair game. Let's talk about it.