Big Brother Canada...Instant Drama

As long as it continues to hold my attention, I will continue to post updates of Big Brother Canada on Mondays.

Can you hear it? No, that's not it...That's a full blown tantrum being thrown by a grown man that has just learned that his gourmet life is suspended for as long as he is destined to be on a slop diet. Nooo, that's not it either...That's a girl fight between an acute sufferer of diarrhea of the mouth and a floater that shouldn't have been shocked to hear that she was a potential target. Yes! That's what I've been waiting five long weeks to hear...The absence of the horrific racket that is Suzanne's voice, loud, whiny, and endlessly grating. *breathes sigh of relief*  Peace at last.

"Winner" of the shortest reign in Big Brother history, Topaz ran her mouth to host Arisa Cox (so awful that Julie Chen seems almost competent by comparison) and learned a valuable life lesson. Never tell anyone anything that you don't want everyone to know.

Topaz's instant nominations of Andrew and AJ were followed by the the instant eviction of everyone's favorite pawn star AJ, who is now the self-appointed HOH of the jury house. I look forward to future segments of AJ telling us how AJ is keeping busy without anyone for AJ to talk to but AJ.

Andrew learned that he was Topaz's target during her gabfest with Arisa, televised for the viewing pleasure of all the house guests. As the new HOH, he has the power of retribution (for his nomination and his best friend AJ's eviction) at his disposal and has demonstrated an apparent willingness to wield it, putting Topaz on the block with Gary, who is quite possibly the real target. If so, then starving on slop Gary is not the glitter-covered pawn that he thinks he is. He's AJ's new glitter-covered companion at the jury house.

But at least it's quiet. Now, if only big brother would take that stupid air hockey table away from them.

Big Brother Canada...Power Trip Over

It has been suggested that I keep busy (and out of trouble) by blogging more often. Finding myself with less and less to say (without repeating myself) about the atrocity that is the current season of Survivor, I've decided to heed some advice regarding the fun that could be had writing about other things. So, though I will continue to blog Survivor: Caramoan (which will continue to be posted on Thursday or Friday) until it, mercifully, ends because I finish what I start (whether I want to or not), I will also be posting on Mondays, the topic each week to be determined by my mood.

Four weeks into the first season of Big Brother Canada, I am already more entertained than I was during the entire last two seasons of the U.S. version, which were lousy with hasbeens and machinations disguised as "twists" by production to keep the hasbeens in the game. Big Brother Canada has given us fifteen people that we've never seen before and parked them in an environment unfamiliar to most fans of the reality show franchise, the middle of a Canadian winter.

The biggest force in the house is the Quattro alliance, down a member now that power tripping Tom and his big fat ego are out the door. Quattro has been able to run the house by fortifying their numbers with their respective showmances. Alec has Topaz voting with him, Emmett has Jillian's vote, and Peter and Tom shared Liza and her vote before Tom and Liza were sent packing in last Thursday night's double eviction. That leaves five (three Quattro and two loyal to them) allies to compete for power against the other five remaining house guests.

These house guests are Gary, a proven threat, Andrew, a potential threat, floaters Talla and AJ, and--what was Canada thinking when they chose to save her because everything about her is as irritating as the day is long--Suzette. Of them, my money's on Gary to go the farthest, provided he hasn't pasted too large a target on himself with his competition wins and his successful campaign to rid the house of Tom's obnoxiousness and Liza's playing of all the guys to the advantage of no one.

Operating within the Quattro alliance is the Shield alliance made up of Alec and Peter, who have influenced most of the moves made in the game thus far and have no compunction about undermining their larger alliance when it benefits them. The pair should go far in the game now that Peter's distraction (Liza) is gone, as long as Alec doesn't get played by Topaz, who is surprisingly wise to everything that goes on in the house for someone that sleeps all the time.

Week five has begun with big brother bribing the players with big money to play to win the HOH competition instead of throwing it as is the habit. I'm looking at you Alec and, especially, you Peter. I don't care how enamored you are with Dan Gheesling, stop throwing competitions and yelling at me during DR, it wasn't charming when he did it and you imitating him is unbelievably annoying. The prospect of financial gain made the competition close (a seventeen second difference in finishes) and drove Alec to victory.

Alec's primary goal this week? To rid us all of Suzette. Finally. Frankly, I don't know how those poor people have stood her this long. They haven't been allowed enough alcohol to help them with that.

To guarantee Suzette's eviction, the likable AJ has been parked on the block right next to her. AJ may tell us that AJ has already been a pawn once and AJ really doesn't like that AJ has to do it again, but AJ is probably safe this week even though AJ will worry anyway. AJ likes to refer to himself in the third person, and is probably right about AJ being safe.

I repeat...There is not nearly enough alcohol floating around the Big Brother house to make Suzette tolerable enough to keep.