Big Brother 14...Hell Has Been Raised

     How does one celebrate such delicious news? I know how it would have gone down in the days before I had a teenage daughter to set a good example for, but these days I will just have to settle for a trip to Barnes and Noble where I will purchase books with reckless abandon ( that means without concerning myself about such trivial matters as cost or where the hell I'm going to put them) and indulge in the biggest white chocolate mocha I can get Starbucks to sell me. Heaven. Absolute Heaven.
     So what, may you ask, has me in such a celebratory mood when what I should be doing is plotting my escape from the pit of despair that Sunday night's episode of Big Brother cast me into? Well, my informant tells me that the newbies are in full on rebellion mode and hell has not only been raised but it is tearing through the Big Brother house with a wicked fury that is delightful to behold.
     Not that I don't trust my daughter to deal straight with me about something this important (I do control her allowance and her freedom after all), but one of my hard and fast rules is to always verify the validity of a juicy rumor before spreading it. So, what should have been a glamorous morning spent cleaning bathrooms and Hoovering an appalling amount of dog hair from the carpets was invested instead in a search for the truth, which, HALLELUJAH and thank you very much, was posted in all my favorite blogs and will be summarized for you here. For all the gloriously gory details check out any of the fine Big Brother blogs scattered about for your entertainment. I will be posting a list of my favorites as soon as I get the Blogger widget thingy all figured out.
     As I understand it, Britney, suffering from diarrhea of the mouth, blabbed to Willie hers and Janelle's theory that the coaches would be entering the game at some point. Incensed over being used by the coaches to further their own game, Willie calls a newbies only house meeting and, faster than you can say Russell Hantz's brother, he has the troops whipped into a coach hating frenzy and ready to do battle for their right to play for a half million dollars without interference from the hasbeens that were foisted on them by a double dealing CBS.
     While it's true that the newbies' shift to DEFCON 2 (that's war readiness for those of you whose fathers weren't in the Air Force) would not go unnoticed by the "coaches" for long, they were alerted unnecessarily early by Joe, who apparently suffers from the same affliction as Britney, and now it's on.

     What happened next was probably the result of one man's crusade to put an end to the newbie rebellion that he opposes for reasons I cannot fathom. Joe attempts to take out its fearless leader by pouring Willie's risky secret plan involving Thursday night's vote into Frank's ear. While reassuring Frank that he will not be evicted this week, Willie apparently does a passable imitation of Wil's southern accent, which then triggers the kind of shitstorm seldom seen outside of anywhere that adolescents congregate and, of course, the Big Brother house.

     I doubt that even Frank knows what drove him to do what he does next, but straight to blabbermouth Joe he goes and tells him, get this, that Willie made fun of Wil for being gay. Joe, Big Brother's resident shit stirrer, can't wait to open his big fat mouth and repeat this blatant lie to EVERYBODY.
     The result is the aforementioned shitstorm. Willie gets labeled a homophobe in absentia (he's up in the HOH room oblivious to the beating that his good name is taking) and the house gets to planning his lynching.

     Once somebody, I think it was Britney blabbing something she should for a change, clues Willie in, it doesn't take long for him to get himself out to the yard and call Frank out for the liar that he is in front of everybody, except for Ian who seems to be living mostly in whatever reality show is going on inside his head. Even Boogie and Dan are present and awake for a change. Apparently what ensued should not be missed by anyone and it is my sincere wish that CBS bless us with it in it's entirety before the vote tomorrow night.
     So tell us what you think. Does a potential rebellion make you want to celebrate in your favorite way? If so, are you concerned that yesterday's drama in the yard will end the rebellion before it even gets going? And what about all the excessive running off at the mouth that these people are doing? Is it bugging you yet, or are you loving the fallout from it? You've seen it. It's fair game. Let's talk about it.