Dance Moms: Miami. Wow. I had originally planned to discuss Survivor this week (hence my reference to it in my last post), but my daughter was planted on my "writing couch", a giant bowl of popcorn in her lap and a liter of Dr. Pepper at hand, engrossed in her current favorite reality show, and nothing derails me faster than the spectacle of grown women verbally abusing one another like hysterical teenage girls. I'll say it again. Wow. The most unlikable cast in Survivor history and Jeff's prison issue shower shoes are just going to have to wait.
My initial reaction was disbelief. Grownups occasionally suffer from terminal adolescence, but this tends to manifest itself in mothers dressing like their teenage daughters and flirting with said daughter's guy friends. It's awkward for everyone involved and repulsive or entertaining (depending on your point of view) for anyone forced to bear witness, but essentially harmless. Women well into adulthood just don't behave like savages ready to tear into each other at the least provocation. Right?
Wrong. I am forced to recant this silly notion at the behest of my daughter who reminds me that I encountered this same phenomenon when she was a competitive figure skater, and then voices her concern that I must be suffering from early onset Alzheimer's since there is no other way I could have possibly forgotten it. I briefly explain repression and selective memory to her and then force myself to recall the three years that I spent with my ass frozen to a bench in the forced company of the most vicious women I had ever encountered. It had been a most painful contact with the previously unknown existence of the tenth circle of Hell, which, apparently, is reserved for the pathologically jealous with a low threshold for losing any semblance of self-control.
Watching it on television was definitely more fun than living it. But then it's almost always better to be an observer. The requisite personalities part and parcel of a reality show formula are present and accounted for. Newcomer Abby breezes into the dance studio every inch the "rich bitch", deliberately fostering envy among the other moms, and sucks up to Victor and Angel, the dance instructors, who play along but later inform us that they love the kids but cannot stand the "psycho moms".
Debi manages to comport herself with civility, but it's obvious to all that the animosity radiating from her is in imminent danger of going nuclear. Apparently, there is ugly history between her and Abby, and their daughters, something involving Abby's daughter being mean to Debi's daughter at another studio and Debi and her daughter being jealous of Abby and her daughter. I've seen that little scenario played out in real life, and I can tell you right now Victor and Angel, capable as they seem, are going to have big trouble when that particular high pressure storm of irrationality breaks over their heads.
Their only hope of keeping the fallout to a minimum may rest with Ani, self-proclaimed peacemaker and the only mom presently choosing to take a strictly supporting role, sitting quietly in the background as her daughter strives to achieve her dreams.
Ani's polar opposite is Susan, a controlling, obnoxious woman that would eventually make even the most stringent pacifist eventually want to punch her in the mouth. It's tough to call at this point who the most likely candidate would be for such an inevitable reality TV moment, but I can tell you from experience, it's always the last one you'd expect to blow their shit that eventually does...to the amazement of all.
Brigette could prove to be the catalyst that takes poor Victor and Angel to DEFCON 1 with her penchant for allowing all the thoughts roaming around her head to exit by way of her mouth. While it's true that she may be saying what everyone is thinking, it's also true that there's a good reason why no else is saying it. It's unclear whether she just believes in speaking her mind or she's a troublemaker deliberately adding to the considerable tension already present, but, regardless of her motives, she definitely stood her ground with Mayra, Victor's mother and the studio's manager, who took offense at Brigette expressing her unwanted opinion regarding the care of Mayra's son when he was ill. They fought to a draw, but my money's on Mayra in future confrontations; she's got the authority of her position, the support of her son, and the experience of a battle-hardened warrior who was, once upon a long ago time, a dance mom herself.
I can't say that I'll make it a point to watch the drama play itself out to its inevitable conclusion because, while the dancers are very talented, some of them are imitating the behavior of the mothers who should be setting a better example for them. I've already had a ringside seat for that and it's not something I want to see again.
So, tell us what you think. Defend the moms or skewer them in the court of public opinion. You've seen it. It's fair game. Let's talk about it.
